When the fiancé’s parents offered to give them a house as a wedding present, they expected the house to be solely in their daughter’s name and for the man to sign a prenup. The man felt insulted and refused to live in a house he didn’t own.
My fiance [27F] and I [29M] grew up very differently. I was an immigrant who moved here when I was 6, and we were definitely struggling a lot. My parents worked extremely hard to provide for me and siblings, and they always prioritized our education over everything. My dad always told me it was his dream to live in a house that he owned, since we’d always rented, but he couldn’t save up enough since we were renting in expensive areas with good schools. Unfortunately, both of my parents passed away before being able to realize that dream. My dad passed away when I was 17 and my mom passed away almost 3 years ago due to covid.
My fiancee grew up fairly wealthy. Like private schools, designer clothes, 3-4 international vacations per year flying first or business class the whole way. I was able to attend college thanks to student loans, scholarships, and part-time jobs, which delayed my graduation a bit, while her parents were able to fairly easily cover all expenses themselves. However, I’m the last person to say that my fiance hasn’t earned everything she’s gotten. She’s an extremely intelligent person, and besides funding her education, her parents are in no way responsible for her accomplishments.
My fiance and I met 6 years ago when we started working at the same company, in the same position, at the same time, after graduating from college. We hit it off almost instantly and it didn’t take long for us to start dating. Both of us still work at the company, however I’ve progressed through the career ladder a bit more quickly than she has and now make just over twice what she does. I’ll be the first to admit that this is completely undeserved and I’ve benefitted from a lot of luck and definitely some sexism as well, since we work in a male-dominated field. Still, that has allowed me to aggressively attack my student loans, and once they were paid off, I put that into saving up for a down payment on a house as a way to fulfill my parents dreams.
I proposed for about 6 months, and things have been great so far. However, this past weekend, we were at her family’s house, when her parents told us that for a wedding present, they were going to give us a house. My fiancee was overjoyed, and although I was also happy, I wanted to know the details as well. Pretty quickly, her parents told us that the house would be in her name only, and that they expected us to sign a prenup to protect any (and only) pre-marriage assets “just in case”. I was insulted that they thought I was after their money at all since I make more than she does anyway, and I ended up telling them that they can’t call it a wedding present if they only give it to one person. I then told my fiance I refused to live in a house that I don’t own, and she knows exactly why. All three of them got very upset with me. So Am I A Jerk ?
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