My husband died a few hours ago.
Around 5 p.m. on June 14th he went into the bathroom, locked the door and then collapsed. I heard him fall. I tried for a few seconds to get the door open but I couldn’t. I called 911 and they got here pretty quickly. One of the paramedics kick the door in but it was too late.
We both have had some type of bug and had not been feeling well for the last few days. He had taken some cold medicine so I’m assuming he had a heart attack. I just don’t know for sure. He was only 57.
It seems strange that his passing would not be a big deal worldwide, like how is CNN talking about Politics and not Jeff? The world has lost a truly great man. A very rare man. Can’t you all feel it? The whole wide world is darker. Jeff was a good, kind, honorable man. Honest to God, he was the smartest man I’ve ever met. He was was so sweet and tender-hearted. He loved me like no man has ever loved a women. He was faithful and funny!! Oh my goodness no one could make me laugh like he did. He was the most quick-witted person ever. He was a wonderful father, friend, cat daddy…even though he said he hated cats and was super mad every time I added one to the family, only to have him being the head snuggler in a few days. I went through his phone and he had more pictures of our kitties than he did of even our grand babies.
Several years ago, him and his best friend started a company. This left him interacting with the often “chronically” unemployed as well as heads of government. I always marveled he showed absolutely no difference in his interactions. The homeless man applying for work was treated exactly the same as the Mayor. No airs, no pretension. The moment he shook your hand, you were counted as a friend. Just honest simple kindness.
He had a comfortable friendliness about him that instantly put people at ease. Her also had an unexplainable air of authority about him. People naturally just fell in line behind him. He was a born leader. People did what he told them to do, usually without question. One story that always comes to m mind when I think about his seemingly otherworldly authority that left others comfortable and confident knowing he was in charge and he would handle it.
Recently we had a story in our local news about a child who lost a leg in an accident. Jeff donated the money to provide a prosthetic, on the one condition; you can’t tell anyone where the money came from. We are FAR from being wealthy. In fact as little as 5 years ago we were nearly completely bankrupt after he endured a very long medical illness. Every single cent we had was gone. All of our savings and retirement.
During his illness his company took the first opportunity to let him go. He was sick and there we were without a dime or insurance.
He got better then set out to open his own company so that he could make sure this particular job and community need was met. He wanted to provide the service with integrity. He did. By the second year in business he made more money than in the five years combined. He was a work horse! He gave 200% to every single project and worked sometimes 18-19 hour days. He did it cheerfully because he knew he could help people. He was such a blessing to everyone who met him.
I’m a mess. I’m so afraid and confused. I don’t know how to handle any of this. He handled everything. I had a rough childhood, early on it was if his mission in life was to make me happy. He spoiled me, not just with things but with himself. In all of these years I can’t think of a single moment in time that he did not put me first.
I tried to always had to keep tabs on him before I called him because I knew that if he was in a meeting or in the middle of a big presentation, it didn’t matter if it was with the governor and mayor of the or any combination of bigwigs, if my number popped up on his caller ID he would stop the meeting and take my call. It was so sweet but it was also embarrassing to know you stopped and important presentation just to ask something as simple “what would you like for dinner?” I had asked him over and over again to just let my calls go to voice mail if he wasn’t alone, even promising that if there ever was an actual emergency I would text him 911 first. He still answered my call. It always made me feel not just loved but adored.
I called his closest friends to let them know. I have literally heard more grown men openly weeping in the last day than I ever have in whole life combined. I’m so afraid of a future without him. He was my everything. My whole life has been playing a supporting role to his ambitions. I don’t have any idea how to deal with The finances, what to do about the brand new truck he bought six months ago. I don’t know what to do about anything and I’m so afraid I can’t live without him. But mostly Im afraid that I don’t want to live without him.