In this day and age, knowing how to conduct at least the basic housework is essential. You don’t have to serve MasterChef-level dishes every day, but you should be able to prepare some basic meals. Sadly, some individuals will not learn, regardless of how hard their loved ones try to teach them the Way of the Kitchen. Read this story to know what happened between this couple and let us know how you would deal with the situation.
Source: Reddit
My boyfriend grew up in a house that valued outdated gender norms. The women were always responsible for cooking and cleaning, so he didn’t learn how to do any of that for most of his life. That is, until he moved in with me after college.
He’s been good about a few things. He doesn’t mind helping with dishes or handling the laundry, but the one thing I can’t seem to get him to do is learn how to cook. The only thing he can do is microwave frozen meals. I’ve been trying to teach him the basics, but it seems like it goes through one ear and just comes out the other. He still can’t turn on the oven or use the stove without help. The toaster is too complicated for him to use, he claims. Doesn’t know how to boil eggs, cook rice, or even how to measure out ingredients using cups. I just don’t understand why he can’t grasp this but is fine with other things.
Here’s the part where I may be an a**h**e. I went on a trip two weeks ago for work. I’m in charge of buying groceries (we have separate accounts) and I realized how expensive his frozen meals actually are. Three to four dollars for each. I said screw it and bought the easiest ingredients I could find for a lot cheaper for him to cook on his own. He doesn’t like leftovers, so me cooking ahead for him was out. Before I left, I sat him down once again and gave him a very long lesson on using the oven, toaster, and stove, as well as how to boil/scramble eggs, toast a piece of toast, boil rice/noodles, and heat up pasta sauce. I also taught him how to pan fry things like onions and other veggies, and how to tell when they were ready. In case he didn’t want to cook both lunch and dinner, I also bought things to make salads and fixings for sandwiches.
I came back a week later, and he is angry! He claims I practically left him to starve, and how I know he has trouble cooking. I retaliate, saying I showed him what to do, and I get a whole range of excuses. “Setting the oven/stove temp is too complicated” “He cut his finger chopping onions and couldn’t chop any until his cut healed” “He only likes the salad kits so everything is balanced”
Apparently he only ate sandwiches, canned goods, and fast food for a week. He thinks I’m a major a**h*e for not telling him I’m not buying his frozen meals, and leaving him alone to fend for himself. On one hand, I do think it was shi**y of me not to tell him I didn’t buy his meals, and as someone who grew up in a home pretty much only boiled hotdogs and veggies, and only properly learned how to cook after moving, out I do feel for him, but at the same time, after a few months of not getting the simplest concepts, I’m left feeling partially justified in my actions. So am I Jerk?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: