When we imagine the ideal wedding, we concentrate not so much on the aesthetic features as we do on the individuals who will be present to experience the celebration of love. If you get along with your family members, it’s reasonable to expect your parents and siblings to attend, as well as your closest friends. In this story one bride-to-be expressed her disappointment when she discovered her parents had chosen their trip above her wedding. Read the story and what would you do?
Source: Reddit
Me & my boyfriend will get married this year and my parents will not attend it. For context I’m the youngest child & I have 6 more siblings. So here’s the story— my oldest sister has been abroad for more than half her life (I don’t even remember most of our time together because I was really small when she left), about 2 years ago, she decided she’ll invite our parents there for a 2 year vacation. To be fair to her & my parents, this was planned even before my bf proposed to me.
We were actively making a way for my parents to be there at our wedding, but I keep noticing these not so subtle remarks from my mom of how excited she is already to go to my sister which evidently will result to them missing our wedding. She’s even throwing out relatives’ names of who alternatively can walk me down the isle which really offended me at the time but I kept my mouth shut. I tried to ignore those and still hoping they’ll make it to our day.
This week their VISA were approved & mind you, they (my oldest sister and parents) can ultimately choose to fly next year but they decided to push through with it before our wedding which really broke my heart but they didn’t hear a word from me. I was still supportive. Even though it shattered me knowing my dad won’t even walk me down the isle. I joked to him once about it and he said he really wanted to but my mom & oldest sister are the ones deciding and he’s just going along with it. I guess my oldest sister doesn’t really think it is THAT important to me to have my own parents at my wedding. After all, she barely knows me if i’m being honest.
Now here’s where I might be the AH. My 2nd & 3rd oldest sister are insisting we do an intimate reception to accommodate my parents because they will, obviously, miss our wedding, but I repeatedly refused to do it. I told them we no longer have funds to do that because we are saving what we have for our big day. They said don’t worry about it they’ll handle it but I still refused and told them I don’t think it is necessary. In my mind why would I do that if they can’t even make a way to attend our wedding even though they clearly have a choice.
To make it even more heartbreaking for me, while we were discussing who will walk me down the isle, my oldest brother & sister didn’t want to do it either because they said it’ll make them look “old”. I cried about that for days. I think I might be the AH because why would I not want a small gathering to accommodate my parents? But i’m also thinking, why am I the only one who always needs to adjust? Isn’t this supposed to be special to me & my partner? Why is it about them now?
I guess i’m just really resentful right now to all of them because they don’t care about my feelings enough to see i’m hurting. I have NEVER asked them for anything. I just want them to at least show they care. So Am I Being A Jerk?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
