Source: Reddit
I (29 f) have been with my new boyfriend (33 m) about 6 months, though it’s been pretty casual.
He is a heavier guy, and has struggled with dating and finding partners in the past. I personally like men of all body types and i’m mostly attracted to people’s personalities and the way they carry themselves, laugh, etc. His weight has never bothered me whatsoever, in fact I’m into it.
We were taking a walk and he was being mopey about his weight. I told him how attractive he was and said that I like bigger guys!
He then said something along the lines of ‘I’m glad you like bigger guys! Personally, I’m only attracted to women who are petite and fit.’ He could tell I was a little thrown off by this comment, and followed up by saying ‘I’ve always hated that I’m heavier, so am attracted to people who don’t look like me.’
For some reason, I haven’t felt the same attraction to him since learning this. Turns out he is serious about it, it wasn’t just an offhand comment. I am ‘petite’ and ‘fit’, but don’t want his attraction to me to be conditional on that. I just happen to be in shape right now. I will get heavier, I will maybe have babies, and it stresses me out to think he will lose attraction to me. It seemed flat out unfair.
I know everyone is allowed to have a type and can’t necessarily control that. But this statement weirdly made me start to judge his weight which I never thought about before. It is just such a double standard. He always complains about lack of past partners…well yeah, check out if he’s a heavy guy who will only date women who are small and in shape? He loves to eat and understands how hard it is to stay in shape, yet will only f**k in shape women?
I just haven’t wanted to F him since he said that. Probably won’t work out for this and other reasons (I’m an independent strong woman, he seems to want to be a teacher/mentor for some anime-esque damsel you know the vibe). But just needed to rant and hear some other opinions. Should I reconsider this relationship?
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