Weddings are one of life’s most beautiful events. It is a moment of great excitement, worry, and a wide range of mixed emotions. Read the story to know what this bride did and do you agree with her decision?
Source: Reddit
Context: My boyfriend Freddie (30M) and Calum (29M) have been best friends since college. They were roommates and graduated together, and all that stuff.
Me (30F) and Freddie have been dating for 6 years and we are getting married next January. We’re incredibly happy and we can’t wait to have our fabulous wedding. We both deal with anxiety because we have very high profile, demanding jobs… so we agreed to have a small wedding, simple, relaxed and stress-free.
I’ve shared spaces with Callum at my bf’s family events, parties, and he hangs out with my boyfriend a fair amount of time. He’s great. I like him.
Here’s the issue though: Callum does this thing where he sits or stands very still and stares into space for a long , long, LONG time. Freddie told me it’s a thing called catatonia, I call that just zooming out (or dissociating as gen Z said (Edit: Three different words. I was wrong)). The problem is that my BF usually babysits him when that happens. I mean, he stays right next to him the whole time. I thought it was like a cute, nice gesture, but on the day of our wedding, I mean, really? That sounds like the opposite of our dream day. He’s even taller than my boyfriend, so just imagine a 6 ‘4 guy just standing in the middle of our reception, next to the groom, lmao
Here’s the conflict: I talked this privately with Callum, just me and him, and he agreed that he would be a distraction. He declined the invitation. I asked him to not tell anything to my BF and he said he “would be too embarrassed to say anything” I said “Please don’t feel embarrassed, I know it’s not your fault” and we left it at that very friendly and politely. I told him he is more than welcome to join us for our Christmas dinner, cause I know he’s not close with his family, and like I said, I like him. I told my BF that Callum declined and he was disappointed but he agreed that less guests fitted with our idea of a small lowkey relaxed wedding, so it was still perfect.
The next day I told my Mom, my sister and my maid of honour, and they were visibly upset with me. My mom said it was an a**holy move and that it was “ableist”, but I don’t think that’s true because it is not really a disability (Edit: it is), I think it is more about his personality and his “thing” that I know is going to take a toll on my boyfriend that day. I want to make sure I was not a horrible person to pacify my conscience. Did I go too far here ? What should I Do ?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
