Weddings are one of life’s most beautiful events. Weddings are meant to be moments where all put their egos aside to honor the happy couple’s love. Some people, on the other hand, are unconcerned. Read the story to know what this daughter requested from her father and how would you handle the situation?
Source: Reddit
I (32f) am getting married to my fiancé (38m) this year. My parents separated when I was 14 years old. My dad left my mum for his secretary (I’ll call her Anna), after my mum was in an accident that left her badly visibly scarred, leaving her to raise my two sisters (both 25, twins) and me alone. This completely devastated my mum, and she was depressed for a long time. She’s okay now, but she’s never completely recovered.
I’m the oldest child by a long stretch, and I was basically left to raise my sisters and look after my mum for a lot of my teenage years. I was very, very angry for a long time, and I refused to see my dad until I was in my mid-20s. Both my younger sisters were slightly too young to grasp what had happened and continued to visit him (on weekends only). They bonded a lot better with Anna than I did, and in many ways, she was like a “mum” to them. She introduced them to a lot of “female” things, like make-up and fashion, because my mum’s scarring meant she didn’t feel comfortable with that kind of thing.
I started speaking to my dad again about seven years ago, and we now have an okay relationship. I understand a lot better at this age that love isn’t easy, and you can’t help who you fall for. I’m also on reasonable terms with his wife, who has tried extremely hard to bond with me since I was a teenager.
My mum has never fully recovered from what happened and never found anyone else. She can just about stand being in the same room as my dad without crying nowadays, but she absolutely cannot see his wife. She’s not cruel or dramatic about this – she just politely declines invitations to events if she knows Anna will be present.
For previous events (like graduations), Anna has always declined the invite, saying she doesn’t want to put my mum in an uncomfortable position, and pushed my dad to go alone. However, with my wedding, things haven’t exactly gone like that. I tried to be as nice as I could about it, and I invited Anna out for a meal and told her that I was sorry, but that it was more important to me to have my mum at my wedding than her, so I was going to have to ask her not to come to the wedding. Anna said that she understood, that she expected it, and that I needed to do what was best for my mum.
My dad, on the other hand, became extremely angry at me when he heard. He called me up and essentially said if she’s not coming, then he’s not. Both my sisters have found out about this, and they’re extremely upset with me, too and are also threatening not to come. I’m not sure if I’m the AH here? What should I Do?
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