A young woman is faced with a dilemma when her cousin and his fiancé demand that she provide a ramp for a bridesmaid who uses a wheelchair for their wedding ceremony at her inherited grandparents’ house. Despite offering a temporary ramp, the couple insists on a permanent one, and tensions arise as accusations of ableism and disrespect are thrown around.
Source: Reddit
My(22f) cousin(24m) is getting married next weekend. He proposed to his girlfriend(25f) on Wednesday and want to get married by the next Saturday. They want to hold the ceremony at our grandparent’s house which I’ve the legal inheritance of. I’ve no objections to them wanting to get married there or anything.
Also there is no reason to technically rush the wedding, but they say they are in a very happy place and want to be married asap, well whatever rows their boat.
They want to hold the ceremony in the backyard and there’s this platform of sorts where they want the wedding party to sit at reception.
The thing is one of their bridesmaids(24/25? F) is wheelchair user and so they want to add a ramp to the platform. Now the conflict is: they asked me to get a ramp there, I’ve talked to the contractor who has done most of the furniture and stuff in that house and he says he can only get to it next month, he’s busy with some personal affairs. I told my cousin this and he and his fiancé were very mad at me when I refused to hire a different contractor or get quick work done. I have offered to attach a temporary ramp (the detachable kind- which I could rent from a nearby shop) instead. The bridesmaid is refusing this, saying she deserves a better accommodative and accepting facility. Thing to be noted is: the cousin doesn’t want to pay for ramp construction since it’s not his house and doesn’t even want to pay any % of rent for the ramp.
Also the rest of the house is wheelchair accessible since my grandma needed it, including washrooms, it’s only this platform for some reason has no ramp but only stairs.
I don’t want any sloppy or expensive ramp done in a rush, because I don’t have that kind of money saved or want to compromise the quality.
The bride texted me saying she and my cousin have always walked on eggshells around me to make ‘accommodations for my handicap and feelings’ this is the least I can do for them. For reference, my handicap is my autism. It’s never occurred to me that it’s a handicap or issue for people(Atleast family) to be around me.
When i talked to my parents about this, they were very angry at her and have refused to attend a wedding where their kid is disrespected. When my aunt (the groom’s mom) found out about this whole thing she was ‘red angry’ and said she might not attend the wedding too.
Now the bride is calling me an ableist and instigator. Am I Wrong?
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