As a dedicated planner and celebrator of birthdays, the author had hoped for a special day on her 28th birthday. However, being a stay-at-home mom to a child with complex medical needs, and dealing with her own respiratory illness, made the day challenging. When her husband claimed to be sick, she suspected he was simply exhausted from staying up all night playing video games. Disappointed that her husband did not make any effort to celebrate her birthday, she left with the kids to salvage what was left of her special day, while her husband accused her of overreacting.
Source: Reddit
Background: Today is my 28th birthday, I am really into birthdays and holidays and believe in celebrating them to the max, and this is well known to everyone. I’m also the planner and the giver in not only my family (husband and kids) but my extended family (parents, siblings, friends, etc), so I’m the one that plans birthday get-togethers, gifts, travel etc. I’m also a SAHM due to having a son with complex medical and behavioral needs. I’ve been with him 24/7 for the last week as it’s school break and he’s extremely clingy and has behavioral problems due to mental illnesses. I also had an upper respiratory cold during this time, sore throat, fever, cough, runny nose, ear ache. But kept up with mom duties nonetheless.
My husband’s birthday was last month and as usual I planned something for him. Weekend in a town a couple hours away for us and our kids.
For my birthday I tell him I just want help with the kids, the house cleaned, a nap, and him to cook supper or take me out. Maybe a homemade gift from the kids and a cake.
Yesterday, my husband started complaining of a sore throat. I checked his throat and it looked fine. No fever or other symptoms. He stays up all night playing video games.
This morning he says he is sick, but has no visible symptoms. No fever, no cough, no runny nose, doesn’t sound like someone with a cold. He says his throat hurts but spent an hour on XBox live talking just fine.
He naps all day because he says he’s sick, I think it’s because he stayed up until 4 a.m. playing video games. Meanwhile I make my own cake, take care of the kids as usual, and do my usual chores. He didn’t even tell me happy birthday.
Finally I decided to take the cake I made with the kids to my parents house to have supper there so I didn’t have to cook. I’m pretty crabby at this point and don’t say a word before we leave. He calls and asks why we left. I tell him because he ruined my birthday yet again and I’m trying to salvage it at least a little and hung up. He called back and said I was overreacting. He’s sick and I’m an adult, birthdays aren’t a big deal anymore after 21.
So Am I A Jerk for wanting 1 day to be the receiver instead of the giver? To celebrate myself?
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