Am I A Jerk For Wanting To Meet My “Daughter” After Giving Up My Parental Rights.

Source: Reddit

Long story short: in my (40f) twenties I had a one night stand with this guy “Nathan” (now 41m) and got pregnant. I first thought of having an abortion, but Nathan had come from a conservative religious background (not Christian) and wanted the baby so we made a deal: I would give birth to the child and sign away my parental rights (my name is not even in her birth certificate, it’s a possibility in my country) and he would pay all the medical expenses plus some extra for my troubles. That’s what we did and didn’t keep contact after his daughter was born.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine who has the same religion as Nathan sent me a post from her temple’s youth group (they were asking for donations for the homeless) and one of the girls from the picture looked a lot like me. I searched for her profile and found out that she had Nathan’s surname and had the right age to be the baby I gave away. She’s 17 now and seems to be doing fine: she is involved in charity work, apparently loves music and has lots of pictures with friends and family (Nathan, his wife and half-siblings).

I never wanted nor want to be a mother but I became curious to know more about this human I put in the world, so I texted Nathan’s old phone number, which he has not changed, and asked if he would allow me to meet his daughter, since I gave birth to her and everything, and made my intentions clear: I do not want to interfere with his family, just to know her. He then wrote a long text which comes down to the fact that I am an a**hole for wanting to know his daughter now after I “abandoned” her and that this meeting would only mess up with her head. I told him I was telling him out of courtesy because soon the girl will be an adult and be able to choose herself if she wants to meet me. He then blocked me.

Am I being an AH here? I don’t think there is any harm in meeting my “daughter”; she already has a great family and it would only be beneficial to her to know about her own history. But maybe I am not seeing the full picture.

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