Source: Reddit
My husband (m35) and I (f30) have been married for the past 10 years and we have 5 amazing daughters together. Because of that I dropped out of college and have been a SAHM for the past 10 years when we had our oldest daughter.
My husband is the breadwinner and I take care of all the chores and child care. While my husband earns quite a bit of money which allows us to live comfortably, he is also obsessed with budgeting thus I typically only have enough for household expenses.
For the past 5 years, I have been working on a series of books. I’ve been writing everywhere I could. 5 minutes here, 5 minutes there and while I sacrificed a lot of sleep, I managed to finish my series, unbeknown to my husband. I kept it a secret because he always considered it a waste of time.
It was tough but I managed to get an agent and was incredibly lucky to get a deal to have my series published. I was ecstatic. And when they told me how big my advance would be, I almost fainted. It’s much more than I expected for a first time deal (it’s in the higher 5 digits).
I haven’t told my husband yet and I had to borrow money from my sister to get an accountant. Ideally, I want that money saved up should something happen because I honestly don’t know the details of our home finances, or for our kids future. Whatever will be needed, plus I would love to have some spending money without asking my husband, Greg.
However, Greg found my contract and he is now demanding I get him a new car for Christmas. A very expensive new car which would cost the majority of my advance.
I politely refused saying that he didn’t need a car that expensive and that money was supposed to be saved up. I tried to explain my position but he wouldn’t have it. He basically called me anAH without actually using the word. He said that because he’s supported me all these years, I owe him and without him and his money, I wouldn’t be where I am now. He’s told me that I either buy him a car or I have to start paying for household expenses half and half. The thing is, I would still be a stay at home mom, I don’t know if my book will be a success, for all I know, this will be the only money I will ever get from my book deal because it’ll flop.
Am I AH for not wanting to buy my husband a car even though I have the money?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
