Families come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some individuals are adopted into households, while others have a large number of step-siblings. Nontraditional households are becoming increasingly widespread as time passes. When it comes to bloodlines, though, there might be some intense emotions involved. Read this story of a mother who expressed this clearly when she shared her tale. What are your thoughts on this?
Source: Reddit
I (30F) got pregnant when I was 18 and met my now husband (33M) 2 weeks after giving birth. Within the first year of my son’s life the bio dad signed away his rights and my husband adopted our son.
My husband has always treated my son as if he’s his bio dad. We haven’t told my son yet that he has a different dad than our 3 daughters. My in-laws know this, but have always treated our son the same way.
A couple Christmases ago my BIL and his wife gave my in-laws two gifts. The first one had an ultrasound and a due date. The second one had “baby boy” clothes and shoes in it. Everyone freaked out and were so excited. Then, my SIL and MIL started yelling over and over again, “FINALLY WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A (last name) BOY TO PASS ON THE FAMILY NAME!!!”. My heart instantly broke.
Luckily, my son was just out of earshot. My face instantly dropped, but I didn’t say anything so as to not ruin the new parents special moment. I didn’t end up bringing it up at all to my in-laws. I just started staying home during weekend dinners and when my MIL gave me an invite to (new mom’s) baby shower I said I was going to be gone for the night. Deep down it absolutely crushed me because I felt like the true feelings had come out. It made me feel like they never actually viewed my son as part of the family. My son shares the same last name as the new baby, but my son doesn’t count to carry on the family name? It was a Freudian slip if I’ve ever heard one.
Fast forward to about ten months later. I had been excusing myself from all possible family gatherings. My husband decided one day that it had been long enough and they needed to know what they did and how it looked/felt. He went over by himself and at first it was just his mom and dad. He told them how it all played out and what was said over and over again. My MIL instantly got defensive and my FIL instantly defended her. “You have absolutely no idea how hard this has been on your mother for the past few months. This has been eating away at her and stressing her out so much!”.. not one mention about my son, if he heard or not, how this possibly made him feel, or how it made me feel and no one ever reached out to try and make it right. They then called my SIL over because she had said it too and they wanted to include her in the conversation that was extremely one sided. “We didn’t mean it like that.. we meant ANOTHER boy to pass on the name”. No. Absolutely not. You two yelled it over and over again. My husband doesn’t have a biological son. Only an adopted one. There was no apology. There were excuses and a lot of defensive talk. Apparently some of it was my fault. Am I overreacting? I (30F) got pregnant when I was 18 and met my now husband (33M) 2 weeks after giving birth. Within the first year of my son’s life the bio dad signed away his rights and my husband adopted our son.
My husband has always treated my son as if he’s his bio dad. We haven’t told my son yet that he has a different dad than our 3 daughters. My in-laws know this, but have always treated our son the same way.
A couple christmases ago my BIL and his wife gave my in-laws two gifts. The first one had an ultrasound and a due date. The second one had “baby boy” clothes and shoes in it. Everyone freaked out and were so excited. Then, my SIL and MIL started yelling over and over again, “FINALLY WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A (last name) BOY TO PASS ON THE FAMILY NAME!!!”. My heart instantly broke.
Luckily, my son was just out of earshot. My face instantly dropped, but I didn’t say anything as to not ruin the new parents special moment. I didn’t end up bringing it up at all to my in-laws. I just started staying home during weekend dinners and when my MIL gave me an invite to (new mom’s) baby shower I said I was going to be gone for the night. Deep down it absolutely crushed me because I felt like the true feelings had come out. It made me feel like they never actually viewed my son as part of the family. My son shares the same last name as the new baby, but my son doesn’t count to carry on the family name? It was a Freudian slip if I’ve ever heard one.
Fast forward to about ten months later. I had been excusing myself from all possible family gatherings. My husband decided one day that it had been long enough and they needed to know what they did and how it looked/felt. He went over by himself and at first it was just his mom and dad. He told them how it all played out and what was said over and over again. My MIL instantly got defensive and my FIL instantly defended her. “You have absolutely no idea how hard this has been on your mother for the past few months. This has been eating away at her and stressing her out so much!”.. not one mention about my son, if he heard or not, how this possibly made him feel, or how it made me feel and no one ever reached out to try and make it right. They then called my SIL over because she had said it too and they wanted to include her in the conversation that was extremely one sided. “We didn’t mean it like that.. we meant ANOTHER boy to pass on the name”. No. Absolutely not. You two yelled it over and over again. My husband doesn’t have a biological son. Only an adopted one. There was no apology. There were excuses and a lot of defensive talk. Apparently some of it was my fault. Did I overreact ? What are your opinions?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
