Am I Wrong to Mislead My Husband To Make Him Pay For Our Daughter’s Education.

Source: Reddit

I (45F) have been married to my husband (56M) since I was 18. I have a son 27M and a daughter 22F.

We are not rich but decently well off. We always planned for our son to study abroad in a western country for university since he was a child and this is expensive due to the high international tuition fees. This went as planned for my son.

However, ever since I got a laptop and phone with Internet, I have used it to learn new things on my own from sources like MIT courseware and youtube and I really wanted my daughter to be an educated woman. I also stopped believing in my religion while my husband is devout. I pretend to be religious and follow our customs for the sake of marriage. I only have high school level education.

The plan for my daughter was to find a boy from a nice family for her to marry, and not go to university or to go to a local one if she wanted to.

I convinced my husband that these days boys from good families want an educated woman for status reasons even if she does not work and that if our daughter had a western degree she could marry into an elite family. It worked and he paid for her to attend a top university which she got into which is actually better than the one my son went to.

My daughter after leaving also confided to me that she does not believe in our religion anymore and started living a different lifestyle, one I can never have. She recently graduated, got a work visa and stayed in the western country and has a good job there.

My husband got really angry when he heard and is feeling really cheated and blames me as I persuaded him to pay for her education and let her go. He even found a picture of her online of a university competition she did where she won a prize and posed for a picture without head covering.

I am feeling a little guilty since it is his money that let her go to university and now we may not get to see her again. Am I Wrong ? What Should I Do ?

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