Source: Reddit
Background: My (40sf) husband (40sm) and I bought a 3-bedroom house a few years ago, shortly before the panini. We of course took the master bedroom, and the other two bedrooms went to our children (then 12f and 10m). We put a very nice double bed in the larger room, and a single bed in the smaller room, and told them both that they could choose their rooms, but whoever ended up in the larger room may be asked to share or relocate for visiting family members, while whoever ended up in the smaller room would have it to themself always.
We almost never have family over (hubby and I are both only children, and our parents are in other provinces), so we were surprised when our older daughter chose the smaller room, and our younger son chose the larger room. But ok, they worked it out between themselves, both seemed happy with the choice, so ok. And it has remained that way for a couple of years.
Now, we have a 4-day weekend coming up (my kids are now 15f and 12m), and my mother decided to come down to visit. Of course, we told her ok (my husband and I), as we hadn’t seen each other in awhile, and I told our son (with the larger room and bed) that grandma would be here for a few days, and would be using his bed.
Well, my son threw a fit. He didn’t want to share a room with grandma, not even on an air mattress, not even for 3 nights, she smells funny. So we reminded him of the original deal, and offered to put the air mattress in the living room, but that wasn’t enough, he’d have no privacy there. His sister offered to let him put the air mattress in her room (which she wasn’t required to do), and that wasn’t ok either. My husband and I offered to let him put the air mattress in our room, and he said no to that (because sharing a room with your parents, yugh! god bless the privilege, but whatever).
Finally, I put my foot down and said, the condition of you having the bigger room was that you’d give it up for visiting family members. So one way or another, you’re sleeping on an air mattress for 3 nights. You can choose if the air mattress goes in your room or our room or the living room, or literally any room in this house, but you are sleeping on an air mattress while grandma is here.
Shortly after that confrontation, my husband came to me and suggested that we encourage my mom to stay in a hotel. I asked him who was going to pay for that hotel, since she can’t afford it, we can’t afford to put her up, and he went silent. Now he’s calling me TA for forcing our son to give up his room for all of three nights, and suggesting that I tell my mom not to come at all since apparently “none of us can afford it”. Am I A Jerk? What Should I Do?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
