My fiancè (37M) and I (33F) got engaged a few months ago. We’re getting married soon and invitations were already sent out. right now we’re focusing on much smaller details. We’ve also been busy moving into our new home that we purchased together (30% of his savings + 70% of mine). I have to say that saving up for this house took most of my savings and prevented me from enjoying the things I love spending money on.
My fiancè sat me down yesterday to talk about his ‘groom speech’. he talked about a few points but what made me upset was when he asked if I would be okay if he mentioned the house we bought and said that HE was the one who bought it. I was a bit taken aback, I asked why and he said it’s “just a confidence boost” during the speech and that’s it.
I said I didn’t feel comfortable with the idea because I think that it’s unfair not to acknowledge the fact that I’d sacrificed so much to be able to buy the house. I reminded him of how much I contributed but he said this doesn’t change that it’s our house so it shouldn’t matter to me if he said he bought it himself or we both did.
I refused because then people will always think the house was bought by him which is something that will never change no matter how hard I try to prove that I contributed 70%. He got made at me and said that I was really overthinking this whole thing and making a big deal out of it. We got into an argument and he started yelling saying it’s just one favor he’s asking me to do and yet, I’m making this ridiculous, small request for my hill to die on.
He’s basically sulking and now he’s out and refusing to answer my calls so basically he’s started the silent treatment till I cave in. Am I a Jerk for making this my hill to die on?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: