I’m getting married in early September and I’ve picked my bridal party. One of my bridesmaids is my sister. My sister has a completely different style than me. I am following this clean girl but also glam girl kind of style but my sister is that type of egirl/alt style. She has light pink hair, a nose ring, multiple earrings and she’s also got sleeve tattoos on both of her arms and also her neck and chest. My sister’s appearance was something that always troubled me regarding her being a bridesmaid.
I’ve set rules that apply to all bridesmaids but some are specifically about my sister. First of all I set a specific budget I expect them to spend for the bachelorette party. I gave them the choice to hire their own makeup artists and hairstylists but I requested a specific kind of hairstyle and makeup. They’d also pay for their own dresses. All of that is very common and nobody complained.
Where I heard complaints though was when I presented some rules specifically for my sister. I told her she’d have to buy body makeup and cover up the tattoos. I also told her to remove her nose ring and most of her earrings and only keep the normal earrings. And I told her to dye her hair a natural color at least for the wedding festivities such as the bachelorette and the actual wedding. The bridesmaids dress really classes with my sister’s image and she’s going to look really out of place with all the tattoos, piercings and hair with that dress.
She told me she won’t do any of it and I tried to beg her to do it for me, her sister and how happy it would make me. She told me that my happiness shouldn’t depend on making her change her style and be someone else to fit my aesthetic wedding. I told her people make sacrifices for weddings and how many people might be uncomfortable or sad they have to follow certain rules but they still do it out of love and respect for the couple getting married. She said no and that if I’m not ok with this she’ll drop out. I got very pissed she started holding it against me and I don’t want her to drop out but I wished for her to make this one time thing for me work.
My mom and dad surprisingly sided with her and they don’t usually do that. My fiancé is on my side and believes my sister is an entitled brat. But my parents siding with her really made me question whether I’m a Jerk?
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