Dad (42) and his fiancee (Alice 28) are getting married in November this year. I (15f) didn’t really like Alice because I think she replaced my mom too soon. My mom died of cancer 2 years ago and she and dad started dating 8 months after. I try to be as polite as I can whenever she’s around or starts a conversation with me. Dad never forced me to have a relationship with her and I can also see that she’s not interested in having one.
After they got engaged, Alice approached me and said we needed to talk. She said she has a clear vision of how she wants her wedding to be and that I have to comply so that everything will be perfect. I said sure and asked her what I needed to do. She said, “first, I want you to cut your hair short; second, you can’t wear heels and lastly, only wear light makeup and no fake lashes. Okay?” I let her finish before I responded. I said I can do the second and third but I will not be cutting my hair. My mom loves my hair and helped me grow them thick and healthy. I got my blonde wavy hair from my mom so I will keep it long. Alice accused me of wanting to upstage her. I said that’s not what I’m trying to do and I think it’s unfair since I know she didn’t make these demands on her other female guests. She then called me a selfish brat and told me she’ll tell my dad about how I “disrespected her”.
My dad then got involved and told me to just cut my hair because it will grow back anyway. I said her request is ridiculous and I’d rather not attend their wedding than to cut my hair.
I think I have put my dad in a tight situation and I am now considering cutting my hair because I know my presence in the wedding will make my dad happy. But growing my hair back to lower back length will take a long time. Am I A Jerk if I refuse to cut my hair?
What would you do in her situation? Any advice. Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: