Story by Stevie Niki
“I want to pretend like today was a good day, i want to say something positive and inspiring.. but i cant, not today.
I sat with my daughter after school and we both cried.
My heart aches for all her pain and sadness.
Most people don’t see what i see, they see a loud kid, a silly kid, a happy kid, a kid that wont sit still and a sometimes defiant kid. A child with a mind that wanders, a spirit that roams free and a heart that has a wild spark. Some may even see a “naughty” kid.
The truth is, all she is, is a kid (my kid) just as special as yours or anyone else’s.
And the kid i see at home is a kid that hurts, she’s changed alot in the last few months and challenged me even more. her spark has dulled and glow has gotten darker.
We have high highs and low lows.
I asked her today where she has gone? And we cried.
I want my happy girl back, the one who lights up the room and radiates vibes i wish i could create. My nice girl who loves her mama and her siblings, my kind girl.
Today she broke down because of the relentless bullying she experienced the last 6 months after we moved and changed schools. Questioned me as to why she doesn’t have friends and that she’s not good enough.
Today she had a good day at school, she played with a kid and had fun.
But this is what its like, it doesn’t matter if it’s a good day when the pains still there and the wounds are still raw. The damage has been done and its not yet repaired – will it ever? I hope so.
Maybe we should have never sold the home we brought them home from the hospital to and changed their schools from their first. Maybe we shouldn’t have relocated.
She doesn’t fit into a box and i don’t want her to either… Raising kids was never going to be easy, but it shouldn’t be this kind of hard.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what the answer is. It’s day one back and it was a good but i’m already questioning the schooling system and her place in it.
This year i will not allow the system or any one else’s child to defeat her like they did last year.
So talk to your kids, teach them kindness and inclusiveness – because no mum and no child should have to sit through this and feel what we feel.”
