Source: Reddit
So I (14f) have lived with my brother, “Max” (29m) for eight years. I moved in with him after my mum died. Originally, my dad (50m) was supposed to take me in, but he couldn’t because he “had a new family and didn’t want me staining his perfect life”.
When I was 11, he reached out to me over Facebook and started forming a relationship with me. Long story short, I cut him off after I found out his reasoning. His daughter, my half-sister, “Ella” (9f) needed a kidney transplant. Apparently, I was now my fathers hero and greatest treasure.
I don’t know the full story, but I do know that Ella did end up getting a transplant and survived. My dad reached out a few more times over the years, mainly to scold me for not trying to be in his life or accepting him as my father and his wife as my mum.
Anyway, about 4 months ago, I got a call from my dad’s wife “Lola”, telling me that my dad had passed away and how I needed to be at the funeral, which happened yesterday.
I didn’t go. As cruel as I may sound, I feel no love for my dad, he was never there for me and has proved over and over that he’s never had a want, need or reason to be in my life. To me, he’s a sperm donor. I do feel guilty for this, as he’s my dad and I’m supposed to love him, but the truth is that I don’t.
So this morning I got another call from Lola telling me I’m an awful daughter and my dad never deserved what I’d done to him. She said her and Ella would never forget this and that I’m “a pathetic excuse for a daughter”. She also insulted Max, calling him a bad influence, a child, and an enabler.
I responded by saying that if my “pathetic excuse of a father” couldn’t be bothered to be in my life, I would not be involved in his. I told her that my father may be physically dead now, but to me he always has been, and she has no right to come at me for any choice I make as she’s not my mother.
Then I hung up. Since then, my dad’s family and Lola’s have been calling and texting me about it all, and I’m so overwhelmed. Max says I did the right thing but I don’t know. I yelled at a grieving woman who just lost her husband and I feel terrible. Am I A Jerk?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
