A person’s 18th birthday symbolises the beginning of adulthood and is a significant event. That makes the birthday more special. In this story too a woman was soon going to turn 18 and her mom planned way in advance for making her daughter’s birthday special. Read the story to know what happened when her step siblings came to know about this and what do you think she should do?
Source: Reddit
I (17f) will be celebrating my 18th birthday in a few weeks. In my culture, it’s called a debut and is equivalent to a quince or sweet16. My mom (43f) didn’t have a great debut experience during her time, so she wants me to have a great one, so she budgeted up to $60k for this event, booked the venue 11 months ago, and had my initial dress fitting 9 months ago.
Mom and Jay (both 48) were both widowed, and they had been married for 7 months. Jay has a son and three daughters with his first wife. They didn’t move in together entirely after the wedding, but he would sleep at our place when my mom wasn’t traveling. His youngest daughter, Myla (fake name), will also be turning 18 a few days before me; however, he didn’t plan anything for her birthday.
Over Christmas dinner, the topic of our birthdays came up, and my mom said that she doesn’t have to worry about mine anymore because she planned it way in advance. Jay tried to get more info, but she chuckled and told him, “I planned it way before we got married.” She thought that was the end of it, but a few days later, my mother informed me that he had asked her if my daughter and I could share the day because our birthdays aren’t that far apart. My mom said no, and that it would be inappropriate since our family and friends living abroad will be flying in just for the event, and she wants the day to be all about me. She instead offered to help him and connect him to her events coordinator so he could start planning for his daughter’s party within his budget even on such short notice, but he refused and said he’s not wasting money on such lavishness. My mom stood her ground and told him that her offer stands, but she will not change her mind about not sharing my day.
Oh well, stepsiblings came over yesterday to enjoy the amenities in our apartment building and for barbecue when they saw the invitations and stationeries on the table as I was sorting them out when they arrived (mom, Jay, and stepbro were already at the pool by this time.) Myla broke down in tears and begged me to convince my mom to let her share my party with her since we are basically sisters now. I said, “I’m sorry, but I am not the one making plans, nor is it my money being spent on it, so it’s not up to me.” Her older sisters backed her up, and they even suggested that I test my mom by telling her that I wouldn’t show up to my party if I couldn’t share it with Myla. So I told them that they obviously do not know my mom and that she isn’t the type to test. They all berated me and called me a stupid and selfish brat for not understanding that family should share and that I’m a cowardly weakling for not standing up to my mother. I was shocked, so I just walked out and stayed away from them the rest of the day. I still feel shaken by this, and knowing my mom, she will bring hellfire on them even if it costs her marriage if I tell her, so I don’t know if I should tell her. Am I A Jerk?
EDIT: for everyone asking, yes this is a Filipino Debut.
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
