Source: Reddit
Back in the 80s when my parents first met, they both came from very similar backgrounds in that they were both raised by single mothers and came from dirt poor families. My mom had a lot of siblings with her being the oldest and her mother’s golden child, and my dad was an only child. When they started dating, my dad used to bring flowers to my mother and her mother (his future MIL) every time he would visit. He wanted to show my mom that he cared for her and respected her mother. My grandmother got so used to this she started getting angry that my mother’s bouquets were more elaborate than hers and insisted that my dad start getting her the same one. My dad being poor at the time, and living off of a minimum wage job, decided then to end the flower giving which my mom understood but enraged my grandmother to no end, and started (in her mind) a one sided lifelong war with my dad. “How dare he stop giving me beautiful flowers!” she would should at my mom during that time.
To make a long story short, my parents dated for a couple of years despite my grandmother’s presence. Afterwards my dad proposed to my mom, she happily said yes, and they got married shortly after in a secret courthouse ceremony with just them and two friends as witnesses. Both MILs were upset at the wedding but my dad’s mother came to terms with it when she saw over time how much my mom loved my dad and supported him. My mom’s mother however blew her top and claimed their marriage was invalid because she never agreed to it (my mom was 23 when she married) and refused to acknowledge that her daughter was now married.
I should point out here that at the time they didn’t know it, but her current doctor recently diagnosed her as suffering from narcissistic personality disorder and untreated bipolar disorder; hence the entitled behavior.
Back to the story…my dad had managed to get an additional part time job and save enough money during those two years they were dating to get them a small apartment, used furniture, and an old but working car. When my mom went back to her mother’s house with my dad to pack all her clothes and belonging to move to their new apartment, her mom asked her, “Why are you leaving me? Why can’t you just stay here and he can live in his own place? You can just go there during the day and keep all your stuff here and stay with me and your siblings?” My mom is a quiet person normally but my dad told me that this was the first time he ever saw her really angry.
Per my dad’s recitation, my mom shouted back at her, “Are you insane? I’m married and whether you like it or not, he is my husband. The man I choose to spend my life with. I am going to live in the home that we are building together. My brothers and sisters can visit any time they wish, but you are never to set foot in my home until you can acknowledge that my husband is a good man and good to me. He’s even good to you and you don’t deserve it.”
My dad’s MIL was so dumbfounded at my mom speaking to her like that, it took her a while to have any kind of reaction. When she realized she was really losing my mom, she started crying that her heart was breaking and she had no one. My oldest uncle shut her down by asking her if her other kids meant so little to her and to add insult to injury started helping my mom and dad load up their car.
My grandmother’s parting words to my mom before they drove off were, “I’ll never forgive you” to which my mom replied, “I don’t give a flying f*ck. If I hear you’re taking it out in my sister and brothers I’ll take them too” and they drove off and started their lives together.
My dad’s words of advice after telling me this story,
“Husband or wife, make sure the person you marry has the balls to stand up to their own parents. You’ll live a more peaceful, happy life.”
