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“How Do I Tell My Mom I Slept With Her Boyfriend Before They Met”

Source: Reddit

I (23f) have been encouraging my mom (40f) to date for a while. She’s been a single mom most of my life and it seemed her only priority was her children. My mom deserves love just like any other person, she’s put us first for so long that it was time to put herself first for once.

Well she met a guy after some encouragement from me and I was happy for her. But recently she introduced me to her new boyfriend (49m), I instantly recognised the guy because we slept together a few times last year. I kept my cool in front of everyone but internally I was freaking the f**k out. I know he knows as well since he came up to me when we had a second alone and asked me not to tell my mom. I don’t think I can do that. I want to tell her but I don’t want to hurt my mom. I really don’t want her and him getting super serious or worse him becoming future step dad or something. How do I tell her without breaking her heart or her hating me?

Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: 

UPDATE 

When I made my post and got some advice I decided to write a letter so I could get my thoughts and feelings out properly, I won’t put it here because it is very personal and emotional. Anyway I gave my mom the letter that night, I stayed in the room with her as she read it. I had tears welling up as she was reading thinking she would hate me after it. After she read it I started crying and she started crying, it was all very emotional but my mom assured me that she would never hate me and she was glad I wrote the letter and I think we just hugged for a solid few minutes just crying into each other. We calmed down a bit after that and just spent the rest of the night watching movies and eating junk food.

The morning after that my mom ended things with her bf. There was a bit of drama there with him calling me a sl*t and my mom screaming at him for calling me that but after that we haven’t heard from him since and have been drama free. Me and my mom seem a lot closer now and I feel like I can be more honest with her without fear of judgement or losing her love. 


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