What distinguishes an adult from a kid? There are several requirements, but one of the most crucial is the capacity to accept responsibility and effectively define priorities. Read the story to know what this husband prioritizes when his wife is 33 week high risk pregnant. Let us know how you would react to such a situation.
My husband is planning to go on an all expenses paid celebratory trip with colleagues to Europe soon (and is adding a couple of days to see family). At the time of his travels, I will be 32/33 weeks pregnant with our second child.
Although I really would love for him to go and have some fun, there’s several reasons why I’m not feeling good about him going on this trip:
- This is a high risk pregnancy. Our first child was born at 32 weeks, being severely growth restricted (weighing less than a kilo). This pregnancy, the same issue has been found, however I am taking medication that seems to work so far. As of 28 weeks onwards, the risks increase, and therefore we are having a growth scan every two weeks. These scans are important and although it seems to all go okay so far, there is a risk that the baby stops growing and needs to be born before the scheduled c-section at 38 weeks. Having said that, all looks okay so far and we are optimistic about making the 38 weeks.
- I am the caretaker of our toddler, but due to this pregnancy I was told to take it really easy and not lift anything (including my toddler). With my husband away all of the care would be on me and it would be very difficult to take it easy.
- We have recently moved to another continent and have no social network or backup in place – if something were to happen I have no idea who to call to look after our toddler. I would literally be on my own.
- He would be away for 10 days total, which I think is too long.
- He would be two flights away, a total of 15 hours in the air excluding layover.
- The 32 week mark will be an emotional time for me, as that’s when our first child was born through emergency c-section after a very scary pregnancy in which we were never sure he would make it. He spent 2 months in hospital before coming home. Hitting the 32 weeks will be a milestone, but at the same time brings back memories. I’m just not feeling very confident, the further along I get.
- I’m at a higher risk of getting pre-eclampsia and last week’s blood test showed heightened values. Nothing concerning yet, but something to keep checking up on.
- The event will be at a destination famous for its party scene. There will be a lot of alcohol and whatnot involved, making a potential “emergency” flight home impossible. I feel this is inconsiderate and irresponsible considering the situation.
Although I don’t want to be the one telling him he can’t go, I have mentioned to him that I feel uncomfortable with him going on this trip. He says he feels bad for going, but does not consider cancelling.
Am I wrong for making him feel bad for going on this trip? Or is he a Jerk for putting this trip over his wife and children’s wellbeing?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: