Sunny Kooner already had two daughters, and the strain to conceive a son was increasing. As a South Asian youngster growing up in Wolverhampton, she was constantly hearing her grandmother impose the same expectations on her mother. She wasn’t the only one who felt this way. Her grandmother would say that she prays God blesses Sunny with a son.
She would hear members of their local community chorus. Her mum’s eyes would certainly flood with tears. Her father was plainly disappointed when she gave birth to a fourth daughter, her youngest sister, and the couple found it difficult to notify the rest of the family. When they did, and everybody came to see them, there was no joy in welcoming another healthy kid into the family. Instead, the atmosphere was solemn.
She felt inadequate at such an early age, but she couldn’t figure out why. It was the same in the homes of her other buddies. There were receptions and Indian delicacies were distributed when a boy was born. However, as a girl was born, everybody stayed quiet. It was a mystery to her. There were other distinctions as well.
When her male relatives came over as kids, they were supposed to give them a seat and chase them about. For a long time, she considered women to be inferior since they did everything — all the housekeeping and tasks.
Sunny’s father would ensure that her four sisters and she didn’t walk into the Gurdwara – the Sikh temple – together and didn’t sit together so that others wouldn’t notice he had four daughters. Her mother would never make them feel this way and was very proud of them all, but as a woman, it was difficult for her as well.
Sunny is married to a beautiful man who is attentive and caring and who assists her with cooking and cleaning. When they chose to have children and had their two daughters, hubby advised her not to worry about what other individuals thought and went to work changing diapers. Still, when she became pregnant for the third time, she couldn’t help but succumb to the strain and pay for a gender screening. She couldn’t tell anyone until she was six months pregnant that she was having twin daughters.
Her mother and sisters were overjoyed, but her father burst out crying. She had never seen him sobbing before. He said he feels bad for her. He felt she will be stressed out, and it will be a strain on his family. She pondered his remarks and realized what having a female meant to him. Her parents both grew up believing that although guys brought things into the household, girls took them away and eventually departed to marry.
This is a very old custom, and while times have changed, the attitude has not. She has even heard of ladies whose partners divorced them after they had three children. That is how much of a disgrace there is still attached to having daughters. Even today, she knows that if she had four boys, everybody would be overjoyed, however she just doesn’t feel the same way about her four adored girls. Individuals continue to express their condolences to them.
There was some discomfort when the twin girls arrived. Individuals couldn’t decide whether to celebrate or commiserate with her. However, she is so pleased and thrilled for them, and her love for them is undeniable. Her folks totally love the girls as well. Individuals pitying her four daughters, on the other hand, breaks her heart. Despite all reasoning, she left with the impression that she is not giving your spouse what he wants – despite the fact that her husband regularly encourages her not to worry about what others think.
It benefits to be surrounded by strong individuals. Sunny would not have been able to cope if it hadn’t been for her hubby. Every husband and guy needs to stand up and show that they are proud to have daughters. Her spouse and she are working together to alter such attitudes. They are training their daughters to be strong and self-sufficient — and to be treated equally. Despite the fact that they are all still very young, they remind them every day how proud they are of them, how fortunate they are to have one another, and, most importantly, that they can be and accomplish anything they set their minds to in life.
They dress their girls in the same way since she wants them to be proud of being sisters, and they want them to be proud of who they are. She has even created an Instagram page called ‘Blessed with girls,’ since that’s exactly how she feels- Blessed.
They speak up to make a difference. For far too long, the South Asian community has thought it is OK to put strain on families who have had daughters to produce sons.
We must no longer participate in this behavior. Every child, boy or girl, is a blessing.
