Bridesmaid gowns are often unattractive and unsightly. We graciously grin and say to the bride, “Wow! “I adore it!” But we generally know on the inside that we’re merely wearing it to please our pal. The bride should be happy as long as they are all comfortable, look great, and do not have to break the bank to pay for their outfits. After all, they are meant to be her closest and most treasured friends, so they should be able to share in her excitement. However for one bridesmaid, her soon-to-be married friend has made it apparent that looks are far more important to her than making everyone happy. Read the story to know what happened between the bride and her bridesmaid and share your thoughts on this.
Source: Reddit
I (29f) am overweight. It’s something I’m working on as I’m very much not comfortable in my body but again. It’s a work in progress. My friend (30f) is getting married in a couple months in a pretty informal wedding, but still asked me and a few other friends to be bridesmaids. I agreed, of course.
A week ago my friend sent pictures of the dresses she was thinking about. My friends voted on this long sleeve skin tight dress. I would not be comfortable in this dress as it’s too tight, both in terms of physical comfort and mental comfort. I voiced my opinion and why and my friends all said they liked the dress most, and the bride said that since all of my friends agreed on this one we had to pick it. I asked if I could wear a similar dress of my own that’s more comfortable (it’s in a similar shade of green that my friend chose for this dress) so I could still be there but also comfortable.
My friend told me that the day is not about me and that I will just have to put up with being uncomfortable for an evening. I told her it would be genuinely embarrassing for me to wear the dress and that since I respect her day, I’m just going to withdraw from being a bridesmaid so my discomfort doesn’t overshadow her. I said that the dresses were very pretty and I understand why they chose them but I’m just not willing to wear it. I then said that there’s no hard feelings, I’m not mad, I understand, but they have to understand why I’m uncomfortable.
The bride messaged me the next day saying that I embarrassed her in the groupchat and that she doesn’t understand why I’m so opposed to it. I explained once again that the dress was too tight and would be unflattering and uncomfortable for me. She then got mad and said now either her fiance will have to drop a groomsman or she has to find another bridesmaid. I apologized for causing her strife and then said again, I have a dress in a similar color that is much more comfortable for me to wear and she turned me down again. I’ve been shunned by all of the bridal parties since. What are your opinions? Am I A Jerk?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
