For the first time, becoming a mother was terrifying, thrilling, fantastic, agonising, and amazing. Most expectant mothers are frightened and apprehensive about childbirth. They would prefer their husband and their mom to be there in the delivery room. However, at all husbands are ok with the idea of the MIL being present in the labour room. Read this story and let us know what this mom-to-be should do.
Source: Reddit
My (23f) partner (22m) doesn’t want my mum to be involved in the birth but I do. I’m 38 weeks pregnant and planning a homebirth. This has been a point of contention for the last few months, but after our last discussion a couple of weeks ago I thought he understood why I wanted my mum there. Tonight we’ve had another argument about it, triggered by the fact that his whole family has a cold at the moment and won’t be able to come around for a couple of weeks so in his eyes he has no support system whilst I have everyone I want.
My mum and I have a very close relationship, I lived just with her until I was 19 and moved out and she moved abroad to Australia. Due to the pandemic I haven’t seen my mum in years and she’s flying in tomorrow, for a month to support me through the birth and meet her first grandbaby.
My main reasons for wanting her there: -she’s been through it before and I want a woman’s support who has experienced childbirth (if not my mum I would want my aunt or nan) -I want someone there who’s only job is to support me to allow my partner to enjoy the birth of our first baby -my partner and I had only been together a few months when I fell pregnant, and have only just hit a year together. Although I love him I don’t know how helpful he will actually be when I’m in pain (I haven’t told him this so as not to hurt his feelings) -My mum is also a fully trained midwife and having her there is like a security blanket in case anything goes wrong. -My partner does not have much knowledge about childbirth/biology and I’m worried how he will react to the gore
His reasons: -it should be just our ‘special moment’ -in his eyes only the father should be in the room -he should be enough support for me -he doesn’t want my mum taking his place and pushing him out of the way
I suggested that my mum be there through labour but leave during the ‘pushing’ so that it will be just us when the baby is actually born but he said it would still ruin it for him. I don’t want him to feel excluded from what will be a very special time for both of us but I also feel like as the one giving birth I have a right to have as much support as I feel I need.
Do you think her request is reasonable? Any advice. Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
