Source: Reddit
I (32f) have been with my husband (34m) for 10 years now. We’ve been married for 8yrs and we have three boys. Eli (15m) is my stepson but I love him like he’s mine, and we have our two younger sons 7m & 5m. I’m currently pregnant with baby number four, and this is definitely the last one lol.
My MIL Grace (63f) has been staying with us for a little while since her house is currently being renovated.
Since I’ve been in Eli’s life since he was little, my MIL more or less holds me responsible for every perceived “mistake” he has ever made. Anytime he disagrees with her, freely speaks his mind, or just does something she doesn’t like, I’m the one who’s “blamed” for it. I will be honest, I do encourage Eli to express how he feels, to be sure in what he believes, and that as long as no one is getting hurt by it then he can do what he wants. I encourage my other boys to do that too. All I want is for them to be happy.
This morning, my husband had already gone into work, and the younger boys were at the table eating with Grace. I was getting their lunches packed up and put into their bags when Eli came down. He was wearing an oversized pink button down and flared jeans, and he had on some really pretty green eyeshadow.
Grace immediately started talking about how he was dressed way too girly for a boy, that he needed to take the makeup off. Grace then turned to me and said “aren’t you going to tell him he looks ridiculous?”
So I looked at Eli and told him that he looked cute but the green eyeshadow didn’t match his outfit that well so next time he should try pink or neutrals. He smiled a little and went to put on his shoes while I got the younger boys backpacks so we could go to the car.
As soon as Eli was gone, Grace told me that I was being purposely difficult and that since Eli isn’t my son, it’s not my place to allow him to just do whatever he wants. I told her that if she really felt like I wasn’t his mother, then it made no sense for her to ask me to discipline him for wearing eyeshadow.
I took the kids to school, and on my way back home my husband called to ask what happened this morning with his mother. I told him, and he said that I could have just asked Eli to take it off instead of doing something that was going to irritate Grace further. So clearly both he and his mother think I messed up, just for different reasons. What should I do? Can I even do anything?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
