Mom Admits She Hates Hugging Her Young Son, Even When He Told Her It Hurts His Feelings

Source: Reddit

Ever since I (F37) was 5 I have generally hated physical contact with most other people. I refused to hug or kiss my parents, didn’t hold hands with family /friends, etc, hate maintaining eye contact and the like, I think my parents were bothered about it as I grew up but just accepted it and it really wasn’t an issue.

I have always hated the custom of hugging friends when we meet up and I detest cheek kissing. I know this is weird but it makes me physically uncomfortable, but I only have a small circle of close friends who have known me forever and it’s not been an issue.

I had a son when I was 27 and obviously loved him thoroughly and as a baby he had plenty of cuddles etc, but since he was a toddler I haven’t really had much physical contact with him. I find it uncomfortable (don’t know how else to put it .. I have a revulsion?). he has plenty of attention, I’m just not cuddly with him. (we have private handshakes/fist bumps etc).

But the other week, he told me it bothered him that all the rest of our family/his stepdad cuddles him but that I don’t, I tried to explain it, but I’m not sure as a 10 Yr old he could understand. I feel rotten about it but it’s not just him, it’s evidently how I’m wired, But here’s where I may be TA, with my partner I am always snuggled up, we are very close physically (and I always have been with sexual partners), But to me physical contact is only for one person, the one I am with, anyone other than that and it feels wrong/awkward/horrible to me, I’m wondering whether I shouldn’t show so much physical affection in front of my son.

My mum thinks I am TA for this, I should either hug my son as much as my partner or keep physical contact with my partner strictly private, And that I should just ‘get over it’ and put up with feeling uncomfortable hugging my son

I do not starve my son of physical contact. He often lies with his legs over me, I tickle him, we have secret handshakes, I hug him. I also explain my feelings to him and we discuss his feelings. I just don’t feel comfortable cuddling up face to face with him. What are your opinions?  I need some advice on if I am wrong.

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