Being a mother and a landlord is not an unusual circumstance, although most of us have never been in this scenario. It’s a wonderful present if one has an additional house or apartment that one can share with one’s kids. But what if one crosses the line between landlord and parent? What occurs if one step over the line? Read the story to know what happened in this story and what do you think the mother(landowner) should do?
Source: Reddit
My husband advised me to post here and is helping me write this.
I am a mother to a 20-year-old daughter. She is a junior in college and attends school in the same city that we live in. My daughter and two of her friends live in a condominium that I own. Her friends pay below-market rent while my daughter does not. The condo was inherited from my parents and it was their intent that I would pass ownership of it to my daughter when she is mature enough to own her own place. My daughter, husband, and I are in agreement that she will take over ownership of the condo when she is out of school and financially independent.
Earlier this week, my daughter mentioned that she had run out of some household supplies and would have to set aside time to go shopping before the end of the week. My daughter’s schedule has been especially rough lately, as she has picked up extra shifts at her part time job due to short staffing. Wanting to be helpful, I offered to pick up the supplies for her and drop them off at her place. She accepted.
The next day, I picked up the supplies and took them to the condo. I knew my daughter was in class, so I knocked and, when no one answered, let myself in. The front door opens into the living room. When I entered, I found one of my daughter’s roommates being intimate with a man on the living room couch. I was obviously mortified, so I left the supplies at the door and left right away. I didn’t say anything to my daughter about what happened because I didn’t want to put her in an uncomfortable position but I did let her know that I had dropped off the supplies.
On Friday, I got an angry email from the roommate’s parents. I’m not sure exactly what they were told but their email lambasted me for invading their daughter’s privacy. They said that what I did was wrong because I’m their daughter’s landlord and I entered the condo without giving 24-hours notice. They’re threatening to take legal action if I do it again. I am vaguely familiar with this requirement, but didn’t think it was applicable here. Was I the a**hole in this situation? I feel bad about what happened but I also don’t feel like I was out of line.
Edit: My daughter was aware that I was coming to drop off the supplies and asked that I leave them in the kitchen, which is adjacent to the living room.
Edit 2: I am not asking for judgment on whether I violated the law. I checked in with a friend who is a lawyer and he thinks that, because my daughter gave explicit permission to enter the home and drop off the supplies, I’m in the clear. I am asking whether I was the a**h**e for doing so.
UPDATE:
I called and texted my daughter asking to discuss the situation. She can’t speak to me right now because her roommates are fighting and she’s mediating, but she is aware of the situation and sent me a quick explanation. My daughter had notified all the roommates that I was coming over but Roommate 1 apparently forgot. The man she was with was Roommate 2’s boyfriend. She freaked out and contacted her parents because she was scared I would spill the beans. I still don’t know exactly what she told her parents but I assume it wasn’t the full story. I have never met Roommate 2’s boyfriend, so I didn’t know it was him. Roommate 1 and Roommate 2 are fighting now and, needless to say, Roommate 1 will be moving out.
I will be writing a more comprehensive, formal lease for Roommate 2 for both my protection and hers but, in all honesty, Roommate 2 is wonderful and I do not anticipate that there will be any problems.
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
