Individuals who believe that stay-at-home parents spend their days drinking tea, baking cake, and watching television have clearly never had to deal with a hungry crying kid having a meltdown in the middle of a grocery store aisle. Parenting is a full-time job with no vacation days. So, when a frustrated parent wants to know whether she is right/wrong to give her husband the silent treatment over his childcare attempts. Read the story and share your views on this.
Source: Reddit
I (29F) and my husband (38M) have two sons (3y + 8m). I’m a stay-at-home mom, he works full time. I do 95% of the cooking, 90% child care and 80% cleaning. My day starts at 5am when the baby wakes us up and doesn’t end till long after the sun goes down.
The days are long and hard because the baby hardly sleeps at all, today I got a total of ZERO minutes to myself, 12 yesterday (yay) but I’m exhausted every day and need a minimum of 2 strong cups of coffee to live. Kids are in bed usually at 8pm, then I spend the next few hours cleaning up the house, cleaning up from dinner, folding laundry and maybe catching a TV show while I fold. Every task has to be done with the utmost efficiency to save time and energy. (I should note that after kids are in bed, husband doesn’t help me with any chores and doesn’t offer)
Husband comes home, eats his meal that’s always ready when he arrives, plays with the toddler for an hour and then we tag team the bedtime routines for the two. He has 2 hrs a night with the kids and I’m there to help him all the time. He’s been left alone with them for maybe 5 hrs total in the last 8 months since the younger was born.
Anyone who’s a mom of littles knows that any alone time is a luxury. Lately, any time I ask my husband to take the kids or do an extra task with them, he complains and says it’s inconvenient for him. He does it but with the commentary, it just makes me more stressed so it hurts more that it helps. So I’ve been asking him for less help cause I don’t love the whining.
Today was exhausting and I wanted a break for a bit so I could rest and go to the bathroom without an audience. I gave him the baby and walked to another room to lay down. While going down the hallway, he starts shouting at me that this is supposed to be a team effort and I can’t just dump the baby on him like that. That he’s tired too and has things to do.
I didn’t yell or say anything back, but I just about had enough of the b%#ching. I was able to keep myself from chucking my cellphone in his direction while my hands were balled up in fists shaking. I’m angry. And I’m so done with these unnecessary comments.
I’m no longer speaking to him unless it directly involves the kids. I don’t wanna see him or hear from him and I’m so done. Am I the a#sho%e if I give him the silent treatment? Not for punishment reasons, I just am tired of hearing complaints and don’t wanna deal with it anymore.
It’s his kids too, but am I being unreasonable? I understand he works but his work day ends while mine never does. Not even at night when I’m breastfeeding. Part of me thinks maybe I’m the as*hole cause I don’t financially contribute but in my state, daycare is more expensive than renting an apartment. So am I the as%h#@e?
