My husband, against my wishes, decided to get our oldest “Bryan” (16M) a motorcycle for his 16th birthday a few months ago so they could go riding together. It was a surprise last minute gift that I didn’t know about. They also apparently went and got his license for it behind my back.
I couldn’t just take it from him without looking like the bad guy since he already had it so I laid down strict rules. He was supposed to only ever drive the speed limit and he could only drive it with his dad around and he was supposed to have no passengers on it.
Me and my husband are separated right now and he’s staying in a nearby apartment until we figure out what we’re doing with our marriage. Bryan stays with me a week and stays with his dad the next week. Last Friday while Bryan was at his dad’s house, I got a call from the hospital saying he and his girlfriend “Clarie” (15F) had been in a motorcycle accident. I rush down to the hospital and find Bryan and she’s kinda banged, a gash on his forehead, some cuts and bruises and a concussion. I asked him what happened and he wouldn’t look at me until he finally got up the nerve to tell me they wrecked on his motorcycle while he was taking Clarie home from baseball practice and decided to street race some other guy. He lost control of his bike and they flipped over.
Now I was steaming and asked why the hell he was out riding his motorcycle without his dad and why he would of doing something so stupid especially riding with someone else. He started crying saying he was sorry and that he just wanted to know if Clarie was OK. I went to check and found Clarie’s parents who were pissed and they told me that Clarie had broken a few ribs and her leg and two of her fingers. I promised to take care of the medical bills which calmed them down some.
My husband showed up and tried to explain and apologize for letting Bryan ride around with his gf and I just went off on him in the middle of the hospital yelling at him that this is the reason why we were separated and that he was an irresponsible parent who never took anything seriously. I went to talk to Bryan, still mad and told him that he’d be paying for all of Clarie’s medical bills out of his college fund and any money he’d been saving. Since then I’ve been getting calls from my husband and my in-laws about how I was being a b***tch to my husband and that I shouldn’t possibly be taking college away from Bryan because of a mistake. Am I A Jerk? What Should I Do?