Muslim Bridesmaid Asks If She’s A Jerk For Not Compromising And Keeping Her Hijab On For Her Friend’s Wedding.

This story delves into the complexities of cultural and religious beliefs and how they can impact personal choices, even in the context of a seemingly simple event like a wedding. The protagonist, a Muslim woman who wears a hijab, is faced with a dilemma when her friend, the bride, assumes she will not wear the hijab as a bridesmaid. The story highlights the importance of communication and understanding when it comes to accommodating different beliefs and values. The conflict between the two friends raises questions about who is responsible for making compromises and whether cultural differences should be respected or ignored in social situations. It promises to be an interesting and thought-provoking read.

Source: Reddit

We have been friends for 5 years, and in the whole time she’s known me I’ve never taken my hijab off around men outside my family. I have taken it off in front of her before, but only because I was only around women, and she knew this was the case.

When we were trying on bridesmaid dresses, I offered to wear a different dress to the other bridesmaids or wear a covering over the dress so they didn’t all have to conform to my needs regarding the modesty of the dress. We settled on all wearing a dress that I could wear, as the bride wanted us to match. I was happy that they accommodated me, and none of them seemed to mind wearing a more modest dress than they might have worn otherwise.

Yesterday I asked the bride if she wanted me to wear a scarf that matched the dress or of a different colour. She was startled and told me she was expecting me not to wear a hijab, because when she said she wanted us all to match she thought I understood she meant not just the dresses, but that I would not be wearing a hijab. She also said that she thought I would be ok with it since I took my hijab off while trying on dresses, which I only did because I was only around women and I was trying on some dresses that go over the head so I felt the hijab would have fallen off anyway.

I said that if I could not wear a hijab as a bridesmaid, I would not be able to be a bridesmaid. My friend is now frustrated as some of the other bridesmaids have made alterations to the dresses and cannot return them, and she would have wanted them to wear a different dress if it were not for my modesty needs. She’s also annoyed that I have backed out as now there is an uneven number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.

She says she tried her best to make a compromise with me, the modest dress but no hijab, and I should have explicitly said I would need to wear my hijab and not taken it off while trying on dresses. I think she should have explicitly asked if I would go without before committing to a compromise I didn’t even know about.


Edit: I messaged the other bridesmaids, explaining that I can’t be a bridesmaid anymore as the bride doesn’t want me wearing a hijab, and the responses are coming in very much anti-bride so far. I’m hoping the others disagreeing with her on this will snap her out of it. It seems like she’s overall stressed and focusing in on this one thing too much and hopefully if she stops to think about it she’ll register that it’s not a big deal if I’m wearing a hijab.

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