Am I Jerk For Insulting My MIL After She Made Comments About Me Not Wanting Kids?

Having a child or being parents is indeed beautiful. It’s up to you and your spouse, if you have one, to decide whether or not to have children, and it doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks. It’s ok to share your views however don’t impose it  on anyone. 

Source: Reddit

I (25 F) have 4 older siblings, seeing my parents regret having kids and struggle financially and physically I realised at a young age I didn’t want children. I love kids and spoiling my nieces and nephews is what keeps me alive but I’ve never wanted any on my own. I worked my whole life set on one career so why would I give it up for 18 years of regret? My husband doesn’t want kids either but too loves our nieces and nephews.

Well, my MIL is a strong believer of man being the breadwinner and woman being a stay at home mother and housewife. She’s very old fashioned and so is my husband’s sister. My MIL doesn’t have any respect for me after finding out that i will not be having kids, every time i see her she makes comments like “at your age I already had ___” or “what are you even doing with your life with no kids?” It pisses me off but my husband says to just ignore it and we only have to see her at family events.

Now here comes the bad part, my FIL never wanted kids, but MIL baby trapped him and when my husband was 10 they divorced, MIL was depressed for a very long time and is still in love with him.

The other day me and my husband were invited to a small family get together and of course we went. Everything went well and I was having fun. I picked up my husband’s cousin who is only 6 and started playing with her. MIL took notice of this and walked over to me and said “see, isn’t that easy? Now you just have to have your own kids and do this. I mean, what else could you possibly be doing in your life? Stop slacking off.”

This pissed me off, in the moment I just said “oh, I don’t want kids. Hey? Kinda like (FIL name) who knows? Maybe my marriage will work out unlike yours because you’re too selfish to take others’ feelings and wants into account.”

MIL stood there absolutely dumbfounded before bursting into tears, everyone immediately rushed over and when MIL told them, some laughed and some were mad. I felt so awful I wished I had never said it. My husband dragged me to the car and said that although she had it coming I could’ve found something else to say instead of absolutely tearing into her like that. I’ve received a few messages saying the same thing but most calling me a Jerk. So, I’m in the middle of a shitstorm and need some advice on if I’m wrong.

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