Source: Reddit
My husband works for a pretty prestigious university as the director of student life. He oversees a decent sized staff, and their work encompasses all manners of student activities, groups, Greek life, etc.
A little background before I get to ~the incident~, a few months ago we were expecting our baby. Most people on campus knew this, and knew that my husband, let’s call him Joe, would be taking paternity leave. When the big day came, I called him at work and told him it’s go time, meet me at the hospital, and he dropped everything and ran out the door, as you do. In the delivery room we had plenty of down time, so from time to time he checked his work email while I rest. He’s looking through it and goes “what the fuuuuuuu”…
A professor wrote him the most caustic, unhinged rant saying, basically, I came into your office to see you about a matter concerning my students and you weren’t there despite the department hours clearly stating 8-5, this is unacceptable and unprofessional, contact me immediately, etc. He lol’d and said won’t she feel silly when she gets his out of office reply…but no, ten minutes later she’s harassing him again! Finally he sent her a very terse reply and it seemed that was the end of that…but not for long!
Every day for the next week this professor came into the office demanding to know if Joe was there; more than one tear was shed by the staff during this time. I don’t know exactly what she was saying or why no one else could do what she needed (the staff was kind enough not to burden Joe with this while he was on pat leave), but reports are that it was like having an angry dementor come through.
On the first day Joe returned to work, he got to meet this professor face to face. He was in his office (on FaceTime with me, actually), when yelling erupts from down the hall. “Uh oh”, he says to me, “bet that’s her.” We hung up and what conversation happened in that office can only be imagined…or maybe he told me and I forgot. #newbornlyfe But by all accounts she was cantankerous, irate, and incorrect in what she was trying to do, and could not be told otherwise. As he is in charge of the department but not of her, he could only put his foot down on the request, but not the behavior. Finally she left and the whole situation was done and dusted, finished and forgotten…but again, not for long!
Fast forward to yesterday. I decided to pop in with the baby to surprise him, and hopefully we could go to lunch. Also show off the baby, of course. When we arrived it was squee!!!!s all around from the office staff, and one of the ladies took the baby for a tour around the building. I’ve been holding that kid for three months straight so I was happy to let her. 😂 Joe’s admin assistant told me he was in a meeting for another 10 or so minutes, and then she went off on the baby world tour, so I decided to sit in his office and enjoy merciful silence…but, and ya guessed it, not for long.
Enter: the professor from hell. I knew it was her before she said one word. She looked like an ivory tower Karen with an “I want to talk to your dean” hairdo.
PFH: Does nobody do any work around here? This is OUTRAGEOUS. Where’s (admin assistant)? Why is Joe even on the payroll if he is NEVER here? Go find him.
Me: wut
PFH: Omfg are you too effing hungover to accept a simple direction?! Wtf is wrong with you! I’d kick your a** out of class looking like that. I don’t care where he is, GO AND GET JOE.
Me: Oooh, you think I’m a student!
PFH, mockingly: Oh I’m gonna pretend I’m not a student now sitting in the office! with the university sweatshirt! and a bookbag! What group are you in because Joe will be very interested to hear how inept you are.
(I’m like a bookbag? Oh yeah, diaper bag lol. At this point I decide to ride this out and hope he comes back and sees it is in progress.)
Me: Okay, let’s say I’m a student. Why do you think I work here?
That was exactly the wrong, or right, depending on your point of view, thing to say. This lady came undone in a torrent of maniacal hissing and shrieking. Her vitriol knew no bounds as she directed it at me, the office staff, my husband, all students except hers, the building itself; I’ve never seen such a tantrum (give the baby a few years…).
As she’s having her meltdown, I moved out of the chair where I’d been sitting and sidled up to a photo of our wedding that Joe hung up . I leaned against the wall like a laconic cowboy with my foot up, arms folded, smirking. Unsurprisingly, she didn’t notice the similarities between the beaming bride and the dumpy, sleep-deprived chick standing before her, but I remain committed to the con.
After several moments of a nonstop torrent of verbal abuse (“Joe’s not even fit for community college, how the eff did he get a job here!” was the one that made me chortle; she didn’t like that much), I hear a flurry of footsteps come flying down the hall. The admin assistant comes sliding through the door like Kramer, face white as a sheet. I ask her if Joe Jr is okay (another co-worker had him in another office, because they heard PFH and didn’t want his baby self to learn what madness lurks in the world at such a tender age). She has exactly enough time to answer yes before PFH unleashes the kraken in her direction vis-a-vis the ineptitude of…moi! clutch pearls
AA: Wait, what are you talking about? That’s Mrs. Me.
Me, still posed like the Marlboro Man: (points at my picture)
And right on cue, here comes the man of the hour, Joe, complete with Joe Jr in arm. The co-worker holding the baby had called his cell phone and told him what was happening and to get back here ASAP. Joe was livid, but that eerie scary sort that is a schadenfreude-lover’s delight when directed at a deserving recipient. He handed me the baby and asked if I was alright, then turned to PFH.
Joe: Get out. Do not come back until I’ve spoken to your department chair. I’m going to lunch.
Me: Boy do I have a story to tell you.
And out the door we swept, off to lunch, where were got pizza and migraines from laughing so hard.
At this time I don’t know what action is being taken against PFH, but if asked I will sure be happy to give testimony!!
EDIT: Thank you so much for the silver, friends! And I PROMISE all you guys that I’ll update this every step of the way. I have no idea how long these things take or if they’ll even want to talk to me, but I cannot WAIT to see how this goes down. Also, if you guys run into Joe I never wrote this, you don’t know anything, and this story is certainly not on the internet. 😗🎶
EDIT 2: And gold are you kidding me?! I never even got that on my “real” account. Maybe I’ll start using this one. 😁
EDIT 3: PLATINUM?! Nice knowing you plebs I’m off to hang out with the rest of the landed gentry and try to stay away from guillotines.
🚨 UPDATE 🚨
Okay. Joe talked to the head of the department of engineering, and turns out PFH is an ASSOCIATE professor from hell, and therefore untenured. Muahaha. Joe is leaving for a conference tomorrow and won’t be back until Wednesday, so I probably won’t know more until then, but stay tuned!
🚨 UPDATE 2 🚨
Admin assistant is gathering up a paper trail of literal papers that PFH has submitted that she isn’t allowed to and checks she’s signed that she can’t sign. She’ll also be forwarding all abusive emails from PFH, and making a written statement of PFH’s behavior. Joe will probably send the emails he’s received to HR and the dept chair, but he’s not as heated now (on his own behalf, but still livid about the way the staff are being treated) as he was the other day, and might not press too hard except in support of the staff.
🚨 UPDATE 3 🚨
Not a very exciting update, but the admin assistant has submitted her complaint to HR. PFH’s department chair suggested to her that she not contact “Joe’s” department, not for the least of which reason the thing she’s trying to do can ONLY be done by students and she overtook their responsibility in an effort to mega-ultra-micromanage them. Quelle surprise that she treats her students like that, and usurped control of a student-led group. 🙄
In all likelihood, this process will drag on for some time, and she’ll probably get a slap on the wrist for both offenses.
