Story by Angela Kelsay
I don’t do scary movies… I watched Paranormal Activity about 5 years ago and still have demon-related PTSD. In the middle of the night I heard our bedroom door creak open. I figured it was Lennox but it was pitch-black so I couldn’t tell. I blinked away the sleep so I could help him up into our bed. Instead, in the doorway was a set of terrifying glowing eyes and mouth. It wasn’t a random light and it was hovering only a foot or so above the ground.
I froze trying to figure out what the hell I was looking at. Then silently it drifted a few feet closer. Our house is 120 years old. If you LOOK at the floors the wrong way they creak. But this thing didn’t make a sound. That’s when I called upon the Lord.
Now, my relationship with the Big Guy isn’t real consistent…. I’m like that friend who only calls when they need to borrow money. But I needed Him NOW. I thought “Lord, it’s Angela. If you’ve got any of that white light laying around would you mind sprinkling some around my bed? Leftovers can be sent my kid’s rooms but the white light priority is right here.” The thought no sooner left my head and the demon moved closer.
By now I’m completely frozen, completely freaking out. And I thought “Alright, LORD! The white light ain’t gonna do it. You’re going to call up the Archangel Michael himself and tell him to get to Walnut Street stat! There is some real life demon slaying that needs done and you gotta call in the big guns.”
The demon grew closer and I knew the Lord had forsaken me. I was on my own. I was weighing out if throat chops work on demons when suddenly it whispered… “Mommy?” Oh. Sweet Baby Jesus in a manger. Oh, it was just my Lennox, thank you Lord. But wait… why the heck was he glowing??? I flipped on the bedside light to reveal a (apparently glow in dark!) Ninja Turtle shirt. It was at this moment I realized three things:
1) My baby has a future as a ninja because he was absolutely soundless.
2) I nearly throat chopped my two-year-old.
3) If I’m going to expect quick service from Michael the Archangel I’m going to have to stop being Jesus’s “call you when I need money” friend.
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