Weddings may be pricey to plan, but they can also be expensive to attend. Particularly if the happy couple is really demanding. Read this story where a woman who is close to her brother explained why she chose not to attend his wedding. Let us know what your thoughts are on this.
I have always had a very close relationship with my brother. He’s 3 years older than me and has been a great older brother for the most part (meaning the last yearish). Our relationship evolved a lot over the years but we were friends as well as siblings. He started dating his fiancee 6 years ago. She wanted us to be sisters, a year later when I got married she asked to be my bridesmaid even though I wasn’t having any. I said yes because it meant so much to her and I even bought her an inexpensive but pretty dress since we did a courthouse thing.
My brother and her got engaged in 2020. She announced it in the family group chat, along with the fact two of her friends were her bridesmaids. After the announcement she started asking me for my opinion/help on stuff, which quickly turned into her asking me to run errands for her, and even picking up the cost of certain things. I told her it seemed like something her bridesmaids would be doing with her and she ignored me. She walked out of a cake store with her samples and never paid, but I was left behind and they came after me for the money. I spoke to my brother about it, he told me to go along with it for their special day.
She invited me and my mom to dress shopping, then tried to say I was paying for one of her accessories. I never offered anything like that. My brother told me I didn’t have to pay for it and he’d talk to her. But then later said she was just excited and wanted something from me to wear at her wedding.
I started saying no to any requests for help and she and my brother got upset. He told me he really wanted me to be part of the whole wedding. I found that kinda odd since I was never asked to be in the bride or groom party. Not that I wanted or expected to be but given what they were saying and expecting it felt like I was being used. I was open to both of them about this. My future SIL ignored me again. My brother said he loved me and if I had wanted to be in the wedding I should have said something. I said that wasn’t the point. That I wasn’t asked but I was being brought along like I was, but only to take on the expense and heavy lifting nobody else seemed to be doing. He told me I was overreacting.
Then the invitation came and it was crazy. The venue is three states over, it’s a fancy hotel, in an expensive as f@@@ area, the dress requirements on the invite also meant expensive and to top it all off every single gift on their registry is a minimum of $250. We can’t afford all that. I spoke to my parents who were also unhappy with how demanding the invite was.
So I RSVP’d no. Brother and SIL asked me why. I said it wasn’t worth the expense, especially when they had already gotten money out of me already and given how I was expected to keep chipping in. Extended families were outraged by this. They said a sibling’s wedding is always worth the cost and I should go and support my only sibling. My brother and SIL were upset by our RSVP too and tried to talk me into coming. AITA? What are your opinions?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: