Chores aren’t the most enjoyable thing in the world, but they’re necessary. However, not everyone is eager to contribute. Even amongst loving spouses, chores may be a source of friction. In this story a lady shared her story of how her boyfriend lied he wasn’t good at performing housework and what occurred afterwards.
My boyfriend has started pretending to be bad at basic life s**t like dishes and laundry like he can’t do it so I do it…
I felt pretty frustrated with that and told him straight up that I knew he didn’t forget how to clean since he moved in with me; he was always very competent living alone and I didn’t appreciate him “forgetting” how to do chores. I said that when I asked him to do dishes and he refused and refused until he finally did them wrong, that I was not that stupid.
He said that he was trying his best and I was wrong for saying he was trying to manipulate me. And that from his perspective I asked him to do something and he did it the best he could and I kept at him because it wasn’t up to my impossibly high standards and he couldn’t win… And he wanted me to believe him when he said he is trying.
Anyway, this might be petty but I decided to give “believing him” a try. SO… He had bleach stained my favorite little black dress. Instead of getting mad, next time he had a family event, I put it on. He asked me if I was really going to wear that, it looked messy. I said that I loved that dress and understood accidents happen so I wasn’t mad or upset it had bleach spots, actually. I thought it looked kinda cool.
He said he really thought it looked bad and I said if he wants he could sharpie on the white spots real quick in the Uber. It ended up looking even worse. Another time, we were having dinner and he had done the dishes, but put some of the cups and bowls in the dishwasher upside down so they were filled with dirty dishwater. I took those cups and bowls, dumped them out in the sink but didn’t wash them further, and served his food in them. He said that it was dirty and I was like “They just came out of the dishwasher! It’s just water, it’s fine.
He said that no it was disgusting, and I said it was really no biggie, I was getting over my impossibly high cleanliness standards and I really didn’t think it was that gross. The last time, I had cooked for a work party of his. After cooking, the dish needed to cool for about 30 minutes then be refrigerated. I had plans with my friends that night and I asked him to put the dish away after it cooled. He forgot.
The next morning he noticed the dish was never refrigerated. I said it was fine, it was just a mistake, and it would probably be fine to eat, there wasn’t a lot of meat in it. He got frustrated and said that you can’t serve meat left out overnight even if it is “only a little” and I said “oh I think it should be okay, stuff happens”
He’s stopped being so lazy about chores after he realized I seem totally okay with leaving stuff done badly and that he’ll be living with it. But I feel a little petty for having been dishonest about it. I actually hate how my bleached dress looked and my stomach turns to dirty dish soup and unrefrigerated meat.
What would you do in her situation? Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: