Parents are typically the ones that are always there for you. Life’s difficult experiences frequently influence the lives of families, altering the relationships between its members. In this story the mother wanted to know if what transpired between her and her daughter might have been handled better. Read the story and share your views on this.
Source: Reddit
I’ve been a single mom to two kids since they were 6 and 4 – their dad passed away. Around that time, my son was formally diagnosed as autistic. He’s not very verbal and prone to physical outbursts when he has a meltdown. He’s been in therapies of every kind for his entire life and it’s helped somewhat.
Their dad had a life insurance policy which allowed me to stay home as my son’s main caregiver while working freelance, but money was tight and finding anyone capable of watching him has always been a challenge.
My daughter graduated from college last year. A week before the ceremony, she had an awards ceremony for academic achievement. I was obviously incredibly proud of her. She asked me to come to it and I said I would.
Her college is two hours from here. I hired a trained sitter who specializes in autism the day of the ceremony. Right as I was about to leave, my son had a meltdown and was lashing out at the sitter. I couldn’t leave, and he wasn’t calm for hours. I’d left my daughter a voicemail saying I wasn’t going to be able to make it.
She called back that night absolutely livid. She called me a shi**y mother, said I had two kids but only cared about one, that I’d missed every game and performance she’d had as a child and it clearly wasn’t going to change as adults and that she was just done. She said she knows he can’t help it, but her brother is incapable of showing empathy and it made it hard to be around him without resenting him. She hung up and that was it. I’ve barely spoken with her since. She didn’t send tickets for the graduation we were supposed to go to the next week. She hasn’t shown up for holidays and I’ve heard she’s engaged but didn’t call to tell me. She’s cut us out, and in the one of three times we’ve spoken since she said it’s easier for her to not have us around than to be disappointed and that being alone at events is nothing new for her, she just doesn’t have to bother getting her hopes up I might come now.
Am I A Jerk – I’ve offered family counselling and all other manner of things. I know I wasn’t a perfect mom growing up – I didn’t make it to her things, but not for lack of caring. I’m heartbroken but I don’t think me not showing up in an emergency should have lost me my daughter forever.
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
