Every marriage has its highs and lows. It is critical to assist one’s partner through life’s difficulties. In this story a couple recently got into an argument and let us know how you would handle the situation.
Source: Reddit
When I (32f) was a teenager, I had to go into foster care. The next few years were pretty bad and I ended up doing some things that I’m not proud of, and getting myself into some serious legal trouble. I don’t want to go into detail, but I shaped up and managed to avoid completely destroying my life.
A few years later, I aged out and reunited with my older brother who helped me get my record sealed. He also helped me get into college, and now I’m working in a field I’m passionate about in a job I love where I met my husband (34m). I’ve been up for a promotion and raise, and it was more or less guaranteed until now.
Weekend before last, we had a work party during which my husband got to talking with our CEO and, after having a bit too much to drink, told him about my juvenile history. The next Monday, I got called in by my boss and was told my promotion would not be happening. I asked why they would do this, and he recounted my history to me in excruciating detail, to the extent that I couldn’t even plead ignorance or claim it was untrue. He was sympathetic, but the higher-ups had made it clear that under no circumstances could I be rewarded due to the breach of trust on my part (I said I had no record when I interviewed), and the financial nature of some of my past mistakes. He said it was a leadership responsibility they were not ready to trust me with, and that I could keep my job but that was it.
I was heartbroken and I felt my husband betrayed me. We got into a massive fight and he apologized profusely and asked me to forgive him because he wasn’t in his right mind. Yesterday, I cancelled a very large debit transfer which I’d promised towards an expensive piece I was getting him as a gift for his timepiece collection. I made the offer when we knew I would be getting promoted, and now that I’m not getting my raise, I just don’t want to take that much out of my savings. He hit the roof when he found out, because he’s now stuck with a huge bill, and accused me of being petty and dishonest for continuing to punish him for a mistake he’s already apologised for. I told him that he should have thought of that before opening his mouth at the party. He said that while he’s sorry I lost the promotion, I have enough savings to do the honorable thing and keep my promise, and that I of all people should understand the importance of forgiveness and second chances.
I messed up, and I paid for it, and I’ve worked really hard to forgive myself and put my past behind me. I don’t think it’s fair that over a decade later, I’m still being punished for something I’ve already paid for, even if he did so by accident. I don’t think I’m the a%#hole given what he did, but he’s currently not speaking to me. I could use some objectivity here.
What would you do in her situation? Any advice. Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
