It’s wonderful to have a sibling with special needs, but what if parents just show care for their special needs child, making the other child feel unimportant? What would you do if you were the child whose parents did not take your feelings into account? Scroll down to know how this sister reacted to her brother and her parents and share your thoughts on this.
Source: Reddit
I (27F) grew up with an older brother (30M) who has special needs. My parents doted on him and taught me to put his needs above all else.
Growing up, I never felt important. Everything I did was for my brother. I got high marks, my mom would say it’s for my brother. I won a high jump competition, and my brother got to keep the medal. My presents were suited for his needs. Nothing was ever mine. And I was never allowed to touch any of his stuff because that might upset him.
Needless to say, I came to harbour a sort of frustration, maybe even resentment, toward this setup. I knew it wasn’t my brother’s fault, but I couldn’t help hating him.
I knew better to take it out on my brother or my parents who were really just trying their best. So I moved out as soon as I hit college. I’ve felt so free ever since. I visit them twice a year, for maybe a couple days each time, and therefore don’t mind the treatment as much as before.
Well this past Christmas, they decided to surprise me. They came over to my place unannounced and stayed for almost a month. Either all the pent up childhood frustrations compounded or his behaviour got worse, but I snapped by the end because he rummaged around my stuff and broke something every day (some expensive, some of sentimental value).
That last time, he broke the door to my room and ruined a lot of my treasured possessions, I screamed at him to get away from me and that I don’t ever want to see him ever again. I think I even said something along the line of wishing he never existed. My screaming upset my brother, and my words hurt my parents. He threw a tantrum, my parents were stressed. I made a mess.
My mom has been calling everyday telling how sorry she is that I felt that way but I shouldn’t have held on to such cruel sentiments. She cries for hours on the phone. My dad called a couple of times telling me how disappointed he was in me and how insensitive I had been. I feel extremely guilty but at the same time, I meant every word I said.
I knew it was out of my brother’s control. I knew he probably didn’t mean any ill. But none of the excuses matters to me anymore. Am I Wrong ? What Should I Do ?
