Story by Holly Johnson
From the time I accepted Jesus as my Savior, at the age of 18, I had a very strong love for vocal music. I knew I couldn’t sing — I had heard a recording of myself and it was horrible. But nonetheless, the desire to hear music, sing music, learn to play music was just undeniable. It was like a strong physical hunger that I couldn’t get rid of.
At one point, I heard a sermon about how if we wanted or needed something from God we should ask for exactly what we needed. “If you need a car, and you ask for just any car, don’t be upset if you get an old rusty beater to drive. Ask for a car that really meets your needs and desires.” So right then and there, during the sermon, I just said a quick “Lord, could you give me a piano, in nice condition, and not very expensive, that would fit right on the wall in my dining room under that little shelf that sticks out of the wall, so I could learn to play the piano?” (Since I knew I couldn’t ever sing, I thought I could at least learn to play music tolerably well.)
I totally forgot about this prayer, and never mentioned it to anyone. Well, a few weeks or a month later, my husband went to an auction to buy some tools. He came rushing into the house a couple hours later and said, “Move the furniture out of the dining room before I get back”. After that cryptic remark, he put what looked like a plain wood piano bench in the dining room. I kept thinking, “No, it must be a coffee table, not a piano bench!” But you guessed it, a short time later, in he came, dragging a piano. Not just any piano, mind you, but one he only paid a couple hundred dollars for, and it was a small studio piano, so it fit just right under the shelf on my dining room wall!
Well, I couldn’t afford lessons, especially after the piano purchase, so I asked God to help me learn to play all by myself. I took out a hymnal and began using familiar hymns to kind of pick out the tune, and I tried to figure out the relationship between the sound heard and the little dots on the page. After some days, I began to understand the notes, the rests, and play in a semi-functional, half-witted kind of way. At least well enough for my own joy and amazement!
Well, sometime after that, I met a couple at church that was very musical. They both sang, and the man could play piano by ear. We all became close, and sometimes would spend time at their piano with both of our families singing together for fun. (I purposely sang quietly so as not to offend anyone’s ears.)
One night, all of our kids were gone at camp, so they came over to my house. We sang at my piano, and for once I decided not to be so self-conscious, and thought “They love me, they will forgive my off-key singing, they won’t say anything about it”. I sang more and more strongly and confidently, just enjoying worshiping and praising God with them. All at once, the man turned to me and said, “You’re not going to like what I’m going to tell you.” I thought, “Oh no, he’s going to tell me he can’t take any more of my horrible singing!” Instead he said, “You have a very nice voice, and I think you should join the choir at church.”
Well, I laughed it off, but later as they were leaving for the night, he said, “I’m going to be praying that God convicts you that you should use your voice for Him.” Well, I thought he was a little crazy, and chuckled to myself as I shut the door.
That night, as I did my Bible reading before bed, I came across two different verses that talked about God giving us the desires of our hearts. Then, when I turned back to look again at the first one (I was just dumbstruck with the “coincidence” of it all!), I “accidentally” turned to the verse “Sing to the Lord a new song”! Wow. Three verses that I could just sense were God’s message to me – I can’t explain how, but I knew the Holy Spirit was speaking to me through those verses.
Well, that night I dreamed all night about singing in church and being able to glorify God in song. When I woke in the morning, I thought, “What if my pride is making me think that I can sing?” So I asked the Lord, since I felt he had given me three verses, to also confirm it through three people as well.
I arrived at church that day, before choir practice, to tell Rod, my friend’s husband, what had happened with the verses the night before. When I walked in to the sanctuary, before I could say a word to him, Rod said to me, “God showed you that He wants you to sing, didn’t he?” Then someone else walked up and said, “I heard you singing to the children in the kid’s Bible program the other day, and I think you should join the choir.” Then someone else came up and said, “Oh good, I heard you singing behind me the other day in church and you have a lovely voice — are you here to join the choir?” What could I do? Obviously God was giving me the confirmations I had asked for! I joined the choir that day!
In the 15 or so years since then, the Lord has led me on a wonderful journey with music. I began singing with great fear and trembling. I eventually began singing in small groups, then even solos. In spite of much insecurity on my part, the Lord has blessed and used my singing for His glory. I think it goes to prove that it isn’t the vessel that is the important thing; it is the Potter who created the vessel. I have seen Him reach way beyond my own musical and spiritual abilities to do amazing things through me at times. Occasionally I have seen people touched by His Spirit while I sang, people with tears on their faces, and I know that was His power, not mine. We have an amazing God, and He can, and will, do more than we can ever ask or think, if we will just step out and believe Him.
