Being in a committed relationship is challenging and needs ongoing communication to avoid problems. To be honest, any unexpected problem that arises in your little family, whether it has to do with money or any other unanticipated issues, has the potential to start a fight that will reveal your partner’s true colors. We all like to think that the person we’re dedicating our lives to is a trustworthy person who would guarantee us emotional support should things go difficult, so finding oneself in such a position might be unsettling. Read the story to know what happened between this couple and would you do the same as what the wife did.
30F and I’m currently unemployed for the first time since I was 15. Even prior to when I would switch jobs, I already had employment lined up so there was never a break between paychecks. My husband will have dry spells where he won’t work for some months at a time, get a job and hardly ever sticks with it for more than 6 months before he quits and takes a “break”.
I didn’t quit my last job. The company went belly up and didn’t tell us until people were coming in and shutting us down. I’ve been 1 month without a ‘steady’ income but I’ve been searching endlessly. This all came to a stand still when my husband’s engine blew up in his car so now he takes mine to work and leaves me at the house. So now I need something from home and it’s damn near impossible (if you know of anything remote entry level that doesn’t require degrees, please let me know).
Currently my husband works Mon-Frid 8-4 and just got a pay raise/promotion 2 weeks ago. Since he got his promotion he has been breathing down my neck about me getting a job. He sees all the applications I’ve sent out and still comments on it, as if that will help the situation. I currently have $8600 sitting in the bank from my last job, which would pay our rent for 8 months so his comments are really starting to piss me off and I’ve told him several times to get off my case. I’ve even suggested I go and work with him because he is taking my car and making things impossible and he apparently doesn’t think it’s a good idea.
Anyways, he started in with the whole “my money” argument but only when it’s convenient for him. Like when he refers to taxes, it’s “our” money (I get significantly more back than he does) but when it comes to other s**t, he says “my money this, my money that” and it only just started when he got the promotion. He had no problem living off my money though the entire time he was unemployed because that was “our” money.
Like I said though, I have money stashed so I don’t need shit from him. But he made a comment the other day saying “You need a f***ing job” and it was the last straw for me so I took my car and left to go withdraw every penny I had in the bank account and stick it in an account he can’t touch. That left him with a little over $900 because the rest of the thousands were mine. He flips out and says I’m being financially controlling when in all actuality it’s him. Am I A Jerk? Am I overreacting?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: