One of the most frustrating habits is when individuals desire that you help them out of a sense of obligation when they have never done the same for you. And when you agree to aid them but only under specific terms to safeguard yourself, they are perplexed as to how you could be so rude. That is exactly the situation in which a woman found herself in the story below where she had terminal sickness and began making her will, but her selections were received with disdain. Read the whole story and share your thoughts on this.
Source: Reddit
I (F38) have recently gotten a not great medical diagnosis and prognosis. I am at peace with it.
So I have sat down with my husband and figured out my will. Obviously he will be receiving most of the estate. He has to take care of himself and our kids. He and I both have decent if not spectacular careers and he likes his work.
My oldest brother is a gigantic D-bag. He is an addict and my parents have wasted their lives trying to help him. They spent so much of their time and money on him they had very little for my sister or myself. I don’t hold this against them. I love my kids and I can understand the urge to help them with their problems.
The real issue is that my brother has abandoned my nieces with my parents. I tried to get custody of them but I am not a member of their church and my parents cut me off when I left home to get a college education instead of staying home and helping them like a good daughter should. Their congregation helped them hire a lawyer to keep the girls away from me. But strangely enough after the girls were out of my reach they stopped getting any financial support.
So on my will I am leaving my niece’s money. Not for them to spend however they want. It is only to pay for their post secondary education. If it isn’t used for that by the time they are 25 it will be donated to a charity that my parents hate. It advocates for women and reproductive rights.
I sent my parents a copy of my will so they knew what was coming. They are the kind of people who would take out a loan counting on money from my death to bail them out.
They are calling me an a**h**e for not giving them the money to take care of my nieces. They are complaining because they are going into debt taking care of the girls. I offered again to take custody with my husband. If I can have them for two years I know I can get them on a path away from that church.
My parents won’t relent and are saying that they will challenge my will if I leave it like this. Good luck. My lawyer is confident that I have protected the money.
I just heard from my brother. He is calling me an AH for depriving his kids of help and forcing my parents into a shi**y position. I asked him when the last time he sent them money to help with his kids was. He yelled obscenities and hung up.
My husband supports my decision. But a lot of my family is calling me and asking me to help my parents with no strings attached.
Am I A Jerk ? What should I do ?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
