Nobody I know would feel guilty for having close bonds with their family members; being a part of a warm, caring family where you know everyone has your back is just so comfortable. Of course, a relationship of this kind doesn’t just happen. It develops from a combination of rules, security, and affection. You may connect with your mother-in-law and exchange positive energy. However, many of us may not have the ideal relationship with our mother in law. Mothers-in-law can be a cause of toxicity at times. Read the story to know what drama occurred during this Thanksgiving time in this family.
Source: Reddit
I (f, 28) have been with my husband “Shaun” (m, 33) for 2 years, Married for 5 months. Most of his family are decent people but his mom can be a little of a passive-aggressive and tends to criticize me a lot. Shaun sees it as “her still not getting used to me being around” but IDK because she treats his ex “Julissa” good. MIL says that Julissa has been around the family for ages and her past with Shaun never affected her relationship with her. Fine, I never minded her attending every holiday and being around til yesterday.
We had Thanksgiving dinner at my MIL’s house. Shaun went there before me and when I arrived it was already dinner time. Everyone was seated and I saw that all chairs were taken. I asked MIL why she didn’t save me a seat and she said “sorry” and that one of her granddaughters decided to show up at the last minute and the chair was taken. I looked at her then at Julissa who was sitting next to shaun and tried to point out how I was more deserving of her chair since I’m the DIL (I know shouldn’t have said it I know..I know) MIL flatout said that Julissa is as much FAMILY as me, and that it was rude to imply otherwise. Julissa was nodding confidently while glancing at me.
I was so upset I wanted to leave but decided to just sit on my husband’s lap and act as casual as possible. I sat on his lap asking if he was okay with it (don’t worry I’m petite, he’s strong built) and started eating so casually while smiling and complimenting the food and mentioning to Shaun how warm and comfortable his lap was now and then. The table went awkwardly silent. BIL would try to break the silence and change the subject but it somehow goes back to being awkward. MIL AND Julissa were barely eating and were staring at each other than at me eyes wide open.
Minutes later, Julissa excused herself to the bathroom and so did MIL. It was still awkward but I did my best to focus on dinner. Shaun was eating as well. Later, there was just so much tension and MIL was barely able to speak after Julissa left (early, like right after dinner). Shaun and I went home and MIL tried calling but then called Shaun and texted me saying what I did was inappropriate and that I ruined Thanksgiving dinner and made it awkward. She said it wasn’t her fault chairs were taken and I could’ve dragged a chair from the kitchen but acted childishly and made Julissa (and family) uncomfortable with how inappropriate I was.
EDIT: I need to mention that even if I took a chair from the kitchen. There was not enough space at the dinner table to fit the chair. Everyone was sitting next to each other.
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted:
