I (27f) have been in a very stable relationship with my fiancée (29f) for around 4 years and we are planning to get engaged eventually and then marry.
My best friend Chrissy (fake name and also 27f) has been with her own fiancé since they were 20. They only got engaged this year and it was kinda weird how it took him so long to propose since he seemed to be financially stable and all. Throughout the years I asked Chrissy why her fiancé hadn’t proposed yet and she kept insisting it was not the right time but she’d never say the reason why, just that it wasn’t the right time.
Eventually he proposed in the beginning of 2022 and they’re planning their wedding for next year.
They decided to plan their engagement party during summer time because due to busy schedules they couldn’t do it earlier. So their engagement party was this past Saturday. And her fiancé made a speech dedicated to her and mentioned pretty much the reasons they didn’t get engaged sooner and I couldn’t help but pity my friend.
So the reasons were that he didn’t have a stable job for the first few years of their relationship and only jumped from position to position from Walmart to Target etc. He hadn’t finished his degree yet so he had no higher education, he got his degree in 2019 and only then was he able to get a proper job. He bragged and also “thanked” Chrissy for never giving up on him and growing with him and how they helped each other form their amazing personalities and achievements and how no matter what the future holds he’ll never forget etc.
My fiancée and I felt some type of way about it. Some friends of mine and Chrissy agreed how Chrissy basically stayed with a broke man and waited for 7 years and we don’t think that’s something praise worthy but pity worthy.
As friends we decided to explain to her our perspective of how we think it was ridiculous that she had to almost reach 30 to move on with her life with that man when someone else could provide what she needed much sooner. Chrissy always said how she wanted marriage and kids and it’s sad she had to wait this long for this man to get his act together and she didn’t know her worth.
She said she loves him and he’s an amazing partner and wouldn’t break up with him over his misfortunes and what matters is that they love e/o. I told her it’s dumb how she’s marrying for love and not for stability and how she’s basically wasted herself for “love”. And how the first issue should be raised when he was working at Walmart and Target back to back.
She called us all materialistic and classist and she said she doesn’t care if she struggles financially as long as she struggles with the right person who will value her emotions and listen to her. She said we are miserable b****hes who will find no happiness in life and are very shalow. Could we be TAs for criticising her this way?
What would you do in her situation? Any advice. Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: