Source: Reddit
Good Afternoon! For context, I am 34, my husband is 37. He has a brother ‘Brad’ who is 25. Brad dated “Kelsey” (24) for 10 years. They began dating when they were freshman in high school (their first ‘date’ was actually my wedding). They were engaged for two years before Kelsey found out that Brad had cheated on her multiple times the year before, and was still in contact and sending lewd texts to the woman he cheated on her with.
This all came out about four weeks ago. The entire family was devastated, and furious with Brad, who told Kelsey she could have the apartment and moved in with a friend over an hour an a half away, I think he just wanted to be far away from everything. It was weird because Kelsey was a part of the family for so long it was hard to just turn that off (and obviously we didn’t, she’s going through a really traumatic time and needs support). Even so, I think it does reach a point where the family has to separate from her, since the only connecting thing (Kelsey and Brad’s relationship) is now gone.
My husband, however, seems to think that since he’s regarded Kelsey as a ‘little sister’ for so long, she should be treated as such. I come home multiple times a week to her over the house, when I ask my husband about it he says he’ll text her and ask her how she’s feeling and if she says she’s feeling down he’ll invite her over to cheer her up. A few nights ago she was over and while I was putting the kids to bed my husband offered her a drink and they began drinking downstairs at the bar in our den.
I had a medical procedure the next morning, nothing that was a big deal but something I was supposed to be up and out early for, I didn’t need my husband to come with me or anything but I had mentioned that I would’ve liked if he would. He ended up offering the guest room to Kelsey (who was up and out early) and then slept in until an hour after I had come home. He has TikTok and just follows her (and a few other big accounts, but she’s the only one he follows personally). The one thing I thought he did that I thought way overstepped (and what prompted me to have a conversation with him) is that the family is going on a two week vacation to Belize. The house is owned by my in laws so we go there often, and Kelsey has come many times. My husband invited her to come to this trip as well, which I think is odd since she is no longer dating Brad (who isn’t coming on the vacation).
When I had the conversation with my husband about how I thought he was crossing some boundaries with Kelsey he got very defensive and said I was being ‘heartless’ for wanting to just write Kelsey off, I tried to explain to him that I wasn’t trying to ‘write her off’ but since she no longer had ties to the family why would she come? If she began dating someone tomorrow would we let her being her new partner?
My husband and I have two very opposing standpoints here and I’m trying to come up with a way to compromise.
