Source: Reddit
I’m 35 and my husband is 37. We have two sons 8 & 11. I recently got my hours switched so I’m working afternoons but luckily my in-laws watch them most days after school but two days out of the school week my husband goes into work early so he can get out early and be home with them.
When this began he started making a point to do something fun with them every afternoon he’s with them (not always something big, sometimes just a fun activity at home or going to play football at the park, a hike, etc. They always have a really good time. A lot of the time my kids tell me that my youngest sons best friend Oliver comes along. I just assumed that either Oliver’s parents were coming or my husband was watching all 3 of them. Today I was looking through some photos my older son took and saw the same woman in a lot of them, talking to my husband. I asked my son who it was and he said it was Oliver’s babysitter (25f) and she comes with them regularly-as in, nearly every time.
When I asked my husband why he didn’t tell me about it he seemed genuinely confused and asked me who I thought was coming along and I told him, he just shrugged and was like well, she’s been coming. I asked for clarification on how often and he was like well basically every time Oliver comes with us somewhere.
I don’t know exactly why but I feel weird he didn’t tell me about this, but he seems to genuinely taken aback that I didn’t know/realize it that I don’t know if he’s being genuine or just wants to act like it’s not a big deal so I don’t act like it’s a big deal. I’ve asked my sons, they don’t say much about her other than ‘her and dad talk a lot’ and one of my sons talks about how she has ‘pretty hands’. I told my husband that I was kind of bothered by this, and he seemed kind of annoyed. He was like, I don’t know what you expect me to do, she’s the kid’s babysitter and our son insists on having the kid come with us, so she needs to come too. So I told him that was fine but I just wanted to know about it, and he answered that he didn’t get bothered when the boys had playdates and the dads would come over and it would just be me or them or when we needed drives to soccer practice and one of the dads drove us, he says he thinks me being bothered by this is just because he’s a man but I think it’s more of the fact that it was something I had no idea about, I had no clue she was there coming with them and only found out because of that picture I saw.
UPDATE — The Next Day
Hi I posted yesterday. My husband (37m) didn’t tell me that my son’s best friend’s babysitter (25f) was coming with them to nearly every single one of their outings. I was a bit upset by this because I had no idea who she was, that she was spending all of this time with them. I found out by looking through photos my son took of their most recent hike and seeing her there.
My husband was acting really nonchalant about it, acting really surprised that I saw anything odd about it. He immediately dropped the issue, but I wasn’t sure if he wasn’t making it a big deal so I didn’t make it a big deal.
He was acting completely normal last night, and then as I was cleaning up the kitchen I overheard him talking to his friend from his office (I had the kitchen window open and he must’ve opened up his office window). I overheard him saying how he thinks he’s all good now, he thinks ‘she’s’ dropped it. That was the only I heard and I assumed I was the she he was talking about. I know it was nothing damning but between the situation of him not telling me about the babysitter and then this I had my suspicions way up.
This morning I went through his phone. I know it wasn’t the right thing to do but I just had such a bad gut feeling. I did find her on his phone, but all of the messages with the exception of one that was sent this morning and is asking if he has the boys today or not But I did find messages about her between him and his brother, talking about her. My husband absolutely gushes about her, like an obsessed little boy. He says how funny and amazing she is, how beautiful her eyes are, how much he loves her laugh. There’s one point where he says that he thinks one of our sons has a crush on her and his brother replied something along the lines of can’t imagine where he gets that from, it must run in the family.
I’m completely crushed, I didn’t talk to him about any of this yet because I barely spoke to him at all this morning before he left for work, I don’t know if I should confront him or Leah or his brother. Or if I should just pack my stuff and go.???????????????????
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