Miscarriage is a sad experience, and attempting to have children for many years without success can take a big toll on a person. Everybody recovers from trauma in their own manner, and setting limits around upsetting issues is normal. However, there comes a time when we must accept that the universe will not bow to our every wish. This mother is questioning if she was right in finally standing up for herself after years of coddling her infertile sibling. Read the story and let us know what you think of this situation.
Source: Reddit
My sister “Julie” has tried to have a baby for 5 years. She had a miscarriage 2 years ago and outside that, has been unable to get pregnant. My heart hurts for her. However, one thing I don’t agree with is how my family has handled it. We’re not allowed to talk about babies around Julie. Any kids younger than 3 can’t come to family events that she’ll attend. She won’t attend baby showers, baptisms, etc. The last one I understand, but the rest feels overkill.
I got pregnant last year. I told Julie first and she reiterated her boundaries. I said I understood. The first hurdle came with my baby shower. My MIL was throwing it. I didn’t expect Julie to come. Then my mom told me I shouldn’t have one period, “out of respect”. I said that was ridiculous. She didn’t have to come so what did it matter? Only 3 people from my side of the family came to the shower.
When my son was born, I posted a birth announcement on Facebook. My parents lectured me about this and said it was going to hurt Julie. I said she could just block or mute me. They said I should make the effort. Julie echoed that if I cared, I’d stop. I ended up blocking her just to save drama.
My aunt’s 70th birthday party is next week. My husband and I planned to go, bringing our son. Julie called and asked if we were going. She then asked for me to get a sitter for our son. I said no. She doesn’t want to miss the party. My aunt is one of the few people who agree that Julie’s boundaries aren’t fair and wants my son there, as she doesn’t get to see him often. Julie got upset and started crying, saying that I was unfair.
I finally snapped and asked what would happen when she got pregnant? Would we all be expected to shower her with the love and attention she’s refused to give other people’s kids? Will her baby be allowed to attend events? She said that was different. I said no, I’m not coddling her anymore. My son exists, he’s family and he’s coming. She can decide if she wants to or not.
My parents yelled at me for being mean to Julie. They offered to pay for a sitter but I said no. It’s not even her house. Am I Overreacting?
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