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After I lost my baby, the doctor said, ‘you’re too young for a kid anyway’

A young mother recounts her doctor’s callous remark when she lost her first pregnancy at the age of 19. Please be aware that this article discusses pregnancy loss.

Raydean’s disbelief was palpable when she held a positive pregnancy test.

She hadn’t expected her boyfriend to have kids, yet here she was, 19 and pregnant, less than a year into their relationship.

She was pleased and ecstatic – but also anxious and a bit terrified, the American mother expressed. 

She knew nothing about parenting at the time and had no clue how they were going to pay for the baby’s necessities.

Her husband had a similar reaction: he was both anxious and happy that Raydean was pregnant with a kid he never believed he could have.

They started thinking about how they would raise the child together, such as how they would cope financially with being parents.

Raydean started having aches about two months pregnant, as if her body was trying to alert her that “something was amiss.”

She hurried directly to the doctor, who informed her that she may lose the baby.

The scared adolescent spent the following few months on pins and needles, not knowing how her pregnancy was developing, until sadly losing her unborn baby at five months.

Raydean went to the hospital on the day she miscarried her baby and spent seven hours being examined by physicians before being told she had miscarried.

She felt this the most difficult moment of her pregnancy loss — owing to a statement made by one of the physicians.

Raydean was shocked when her doctor told her, “You should wait till you’re older. In my opinion, you’re still too young. You don’t require a baby right now.”

She was too distraught and dumbfounded to say anything to the doctor, she recalls clearly.

She bawled her eyes out till he left the room with no heart.

Raydean was so sad that she couldn’t stop crying when being discharged from the hospital and being taken home by her partner.

Her boyfriend took excellent care of her, she says, yet she couldn’t stop sobbing all the time – she wanted her kid.

She realized ultimately that she’d never get over losing her first kid – yet the only thing she could do was look ahead while still mourning.

Despite this news, Raydean and her partner took their time before trying for a baby again.

They ultimately became pregnant for the second time, and nine months later welcomed their rainbow boy.

Raydean’s son is now 16 months old, and although she adores him, she still mourns the death of her first baby.

It takes a lifetime to mourn over a loved one. Grief happens on one’s time, not someone else’s, she explains.

One must do what one has to do and take as much time as one needs as he/she is the one going through the agony and sadness, not the ones telling him/her what to do.

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