AITA for refusing to meet my terminally ill mother knowing that she wants to apologize and seek forgiveness

Source: Reddit

My parents only had me because they knew my older brother would need a bone marrow transplant down the road and they weren’t a match themselves. So when I wasn’t a match, they didn’t want me. They initially wanted to leave me for adoption but my grandmother offered to raise me. They then had another child a year later who was a match and they kept him.

So I was raised by my grandmother and she was a wonderful woman. However, I always knew who my biological parents are and they didn’t want me. Even though my grandmother always did her best and the extended family were kind to me, my actual parents and siblings always pretended that I don’t exist. My parents tried their best to avoid me and didn’t even talk to me if they saw me somewhere, I’m over it now, but this was very difficult in my childhood and teenage years.

Anyway, when it came to inheritance, my grandmother decided to leave my mother out. She basically said she has raised 4 children (my two uncles, my mother, and me), she’s leaving my mother out and splitting it three ways. My mother always interpreted this as grandmother givint her share of the inheritance to me and didn’t like it. At the time my parents were struggling financially so the inheritance, even though it wasn’t huge, would have been life changing for them. But I was also a 20 year old student.

My mother, after all those years, decided to finally acknowledge that she had a daughter and tried to convince me to give her my inheritance, arguing that I would get it back when she dies anyway (well, some of it apparantly). I didn’t want to share it because I didn’t feel any emotional connection to her (and I was still resentful by how they’ve treated me), so I said no. My grandmother left this to me so I was going to keep it for myself.

Not much happened since then apart from some awkward moments at family gatherings but now I heard from my cousin that she’s terminally ill and wants to talk to me. She told my cousin to tell me that she regrets everything, she wants more than getting another chance with me, she doesn’t want money or anything else, only wants to apologize and ask for my forgiveness before she dies. I told him what my grandmother always said that if someone wants forgiveness they can talk to a priest. I don’t need her in my life and I don’t owe her anything.

My cousin said that even though she’s the one who has hurt me I’m being heartless now, my past can’t change either way but it takes nothing from me to give an old woman some peace of mind and let her die in peace. He is right about this, it doesn’t cost me anything to give her the peace she seeks but I just don’t see why her peace is any of my concern. I know my mother has always been an a**h**e, but Am I A Jerk as well?

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